picric_drea

Complications

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 23:02:18 GMT

Title: Complications
Pairings: multiple
Rating: PG

Next chapter is finally up. Oh, and there's been a title change.

Okay, so the time in between posts was a little longer than I anticipated, but I blame life. For the last month it has sucked to be me, but now I’m on vacation and feeling much better. So, now that I’ve got that out the way, please enjoy my much delayed update.

Disclaimer: Not mine. See Prologue.

Chapter 1

Sunlight streamed cheerfully though the window, gliding silently across the plush carpet and alighting on the faces of the occupants of the bed, currently resting in peaceful slumber. The red head shifted at the bright glare beyond her eyelids and the strong arms encircling her waist tightened in response pulling her closer to his chest. A soft smile formed on her lips as she finally gave in and opened her eyes to the new day. She heard soft chirping so she carefully climbed out of bed, pausing for a moment to ensure that she did not awaken her bedmate, and crept to the window. Just outside the glass she could see several beautiful birds feasting on her recently installed bird feeder. She lightly placed her fingertips against the translucent barrier as she leaned closer and her smile grew bigger at the sight. The sigh that escaped her lips was not one of frustration, but contentment. It had taken quite some time, and several relocations, but she had finally done it. She was getting on with her life.

She had moved on; out of the land of rain, depression, and despair (at least for her) and into the sun and fun. Of course initially, that was a line of total crap, but as she settled and adjusted her situation improved. She reconnected with her old friends, allowed herself to relax (which was easier when she wasn’t being called Satan daily), and focused on herself. She re-built herself from the bottom up, this time focusing on what made her happy, and not what was best for them. And it seemed that once she re-discovered the Addison that didn’t need any man; the one who was strong all on her own, things seemed to fall into place. Gone was the weepy masochist, who sat by passively and watched her husband chase a twelve-year-old all over the hospital and who took every sling and barb he threw at her because she felt she deserved it. She bid a sweet farewell to the woman who begged for a man to care about her, and embraced one who took life on her own terms, and those who didn’t like it could take a flying leap.

Her gaze ticked to the beach when movement caught her eye. She watched as a father and son pair attempted to coax their kite into taking flight and a bittersweet smile crossed her face. The little boy looked to be no older than four, with a mop of dark curly hair and a bright smile whose sparkle reached her even at her high vantage point. Her hand unconsciously found her abdomen, as all her missed opportunities ran through her head. He had begged, pleaded, and demanded children, becoming more and more frustrated each time she answered in the negative. She had eventually stopped giving reasons why, as he had stopped caring what they were. She knew he simply thought her selfish for not giving in to him, and giving him the family he so desperately wanted. When she tried to explain her reasoning, he would dismiss her concerns with a smile and a caress, and state that they weren’t her parents, they would be fine. However, as much as they talked about her past and childhood, and as much as he held her and soothed her and empathized with her, he could never really understand. He didn’t have to distract his mother, so she wouldn’t see his father sneaking off with the nanny. He didn’t have to sit and watch his parents placidly sip martinis while they hurled scathing remarks at each other under the guise of discussing the neighbor’s most recent gathering. No, the Shepherd’s were a loud, hot-tempered, boisterous bunch, who had passionate screaming matches and a family of five children. She remembered that during their first fight, she had surprised herself when she had yelled, ranted, and gestured right along with him. It had been so freeing to argue in that manner and he’d began to joke that she was as fiery as her hair. Given her childhood, she really hadn’t considered having children herself until she met him. With him she had truly felt loved, safe, and cared for; she had found the environment that she would want to bring children into, but she was still hesitant, afraid that it was a façade. And it seemed she was right.

She gazed once more at the pair, smiling as the dragon finally took to the air causing the little boy to raise his arms in triumph and throw his head back in a soundless laugh, as his father looked on indulgently. She turned her back on the two and her regrets, choosing instead to focus on what was going right in her life, starting with the man who was currently sprawled over her bed. Her eyes softened as they trailed over his well-muscled torso, his muscles rippling as he shifted in sleep. Her mouth quirked as she considered what a contradiction he was; he epitomized masculine strength with his well-toned body and hidden guns, yet he was nothing but soft and gentle with her, ensuring that each time they came together she was fully satisfied and she had no doubt that she was the only woman on his mind. Outside the bedroom he made he feel just as loved and desired, he treated he like a queen, and after her most recent relationships, she soaked it up like a sponge.

She stealthily crept back into bed and snuggled up against him. He automatically wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer, smiling softly in his sleep. She gazed up into his face, features softened in sleep. She lightly traced his features, marveling that this man could make her feel so secure. He began to stir and his warm eyes met hers. He leaned in and captured her lips in a sensuous kiss.

“Mmm,” she murmured as he pulled away, “Good morning.”

He smiled and pushed her scarlet locks from her face, “Good morning,” he replied, continuing to stroke her hair stare into her eyes.

“What?” she demanded, laughing.

“You’re beautiful.”

She blushed and pushed at his chest, “Shut up.”

He grabbed her hand and held it to his heart. “You know I’m right, that’s why you’re blushing.”

“Well, it’s easy to feel beautiful when you get such a nice wake up call.”

“Addison, I -” he paused and looked into her eyes, the emotion neither of them were quite ready to express wrapping around them like a warm blanket. He cleared his throat and continued, “I would love to wake you up that way every morning.”

She smiled and pulled his head down to hers, initiating another kiss. He gently rolled them, pressing her into the soft mattress as his hands began to creep under her silk nightgown, causing a soft giggle to escape her lips and a matching grin to slide across his own. She leaned away slightly, running her nails along his back, “I’m going to be late for work, aren’t I?”

He leaned back in to tease her lips with his tongue. “Oh, most definitely.”

As the sunlight poured over the lovers locked in a passionate embrace, she knew that for the first time in a long time, she was truly happy.

**************

Derek sat at his kitchen table staring down into his cup of coffee, the gloom from the storm raging outside seeming to permeate his very being. Here he was several years later, different state, different house, different wife and he still wasn’t happy. So, now he had to figure out a way to make the best of the situation he was in. He did love Meredith that wasn’t the problem. They were good together. It’s just that he once again couldn’t help feeling like something was missing. The pieces just did not align perfectly. He kept thinking back to the last time he saw her. It was Christmas and he and Meredith were spending it with his family in New York.

Derek was leaning against the counter in Macy’s trying to stifle his sigh as his mother and Meredith were currently gushing over some item he had long since lost interest in. He was checking his watch to figure how much longer they would probably be there, when he felt a tingle along the back of his neck. It was a sensation he hadn’t experienced in quite some time. He rubbed his neck unconsciously as he looked around for the source. It didn’t take him long to spot her flaming red hair about 30 ft from his position. Her hair had grown back to the length he preferred. She hadn’t straightened it today and the soft curls cascaded down her back. He ignored the uncomfortable fluttering in his chest, chalking it up to the surprise of seeing her. After a few seconds she turned from the counter and they locked eyes. They held the stare for several seconds, and then she finally offered a small smile. With a quick glance over his shoulder to ensure that his wife and mother were still busy, he ambled his way over to her. He stuffed his hands in his pockets as he stood before her. “Hey.”

“Hi.”

He glanced at the bags in her hands. “A little last minute shopping?”

She grinned as she shifted the bags in her hands, “Yeah, they were sold out in the LA stores, so I just picked it up here. Oh, hey, did the kids get their gifts?”

“Yeah, they did; thanks. Although you know, you really didn’t have to…”

“Derek, I divorced you, not them. Besides, it just felt wrong not to.”

“Well, thanks. I know they’ll love them.” He took a moment to let his gaze wash over her, taking in her long green sweater dress, cinched at the waist with a wide black belt, which showed off her curves to perfection, and her stiletto Manolo boots. “You really look wonderful, Addison.”

She rewarded him with another soft smile. “Thanks.” She looked over his shoulder at his mother and Meredith. “They seem to be getting along well.”

He looked back and glanced at them. “Yeah, Mom loves her-” He stopped as he turned around and met her eyes again. They dimmed slightly, before she averted her gaze.

She cleared her throat as her iPhone began vibrating. She glanced at the screen briefly before returning it to her purse. “Well, I should get going.”

“Right.” He shifted uncomfortably. “It was really good seeing you.”

“Yeah, you too.”

She moved to walk away when he impulsively pulled her into a hug. She was initially surprised, but soon relaxed and reciprocated. He rubbed her back gently, noting how she still fit perfectly into his arms. As she pulled away, she briefly glanced over his shoulder, then cupped his cheek and looked meaningfully into his eyes. She took a deep breath, “Your girl is lovely, Hubble.”

Derek tilted his head and frowned slightly as he mulled over her words. He shook his head, “I don’t get it.”

Addison smirked, “And you never did.” With that she turned and sashayed away without a backwards glance.

It wasn’t until two months later, when he walked in on Meredith and Izzie watching Sex and the City that he understood the reference. Derek ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. He truly had no reason to be unhappy, he should just stop looking for problems and get on with his life. It wasn’t as though some magical solution was going to fall into his lap.

“Good morning,” Meredith greeted as she entered the room. “Oh, hey, this came for you yesterday. Looks important,” she stated dropping a thick envelope on the table in front of him. It tilted off the edge and slid into his lap. With one raised eyebrow, he slowly picked up the envelope and turned it over. The postmark said Los Angeles. Curiosity peaked, he quickly ripped into the packet. It was an invitation to speak at a ceremony honoring one of his medical school professors. This mentor conveniently enough now resided in LA. Derek couldn’t help the shit-eating grin that spread across his face. It seemed the winds of fate were blowing in his direction once again.

“Good news?” Derek glanced up at the blonde, who leaned against the counter cradling a steaming cup of coffee.

“Uh, yeah, actually. Jack Sparrow, one of my old mentors, is retiring and they want me to speak at the ceremony. He’s actually the one who really encouraged me to pursue neurosurgery. I was always interested, but he convinced me I could do it.” Well, Jack and Addie. “We used to go out fishing every once in a while.” Derek looked back down at the invitation and smirked. “I can’t believe he’s actually retiring. We used to joke that he’d probably just keel over in the OR one day.” He couldn’t believe his luck; he knew Addie would be there, as Jack was her advisor as well. She wouldn’t miss this for the world. And maybe if he could just talk to her, he could figure out what was wrong with him. Maybe they could…

“When’s the ceremony?”

“Oh, um,” he glanced back at the invite, “It’s two months from now. I should probably reserve the plane tickets today. I definitely need to ask the chief for the time off.”

“Hey, why don’t we stay out there a few days, make a long weekend of it. It’s been awhile since we’ve had some true alone time,” she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

“W-we?” He blurted before he could stop himself. He cleared his throat, “I mean, you want to come? Really, it’ll just be a bunch of boring speeches by random people about someone you’ve never met. You’ll probably be bored out of your skull.”

“Maybe,” she smiled, wrapping her arms around him from behind, “But I’ll be there with you. I’m sure we can find something to do to entertain ourselves. Besides, it’ll give me a chance to wear the new bikini I just bought.”

Derek tilted his head and smiled at her weakly, “Sounds great, babe.” He pecked her cheek, swallowing his sigh.

**********************************************************

So, before I get the comments, allow me to point out that I know the phrase is originally from “The Way We Were,” but I found it more likely that they would be watching SATC. I plan to have the next update posted much sooner than it took me this time, but of course reviews will speed the process. ;-D

Complications

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 00:11:47 GMT

Title: Complications
Rating: PG
Character: Derek

New Fic!

Hello, all! Okay so I took a small break from writing, ::sing-song:: I know you missed me! Yea, right. Any-hoo, I’m back with a new one, that’s technically been on my laptop for ages, I’ve just been too lazy to post. I was inspired by the song, “Then What” by Clay Walker, at least for this bit. Then it just took on a mind of its own. But, now I’m rambling so read and enjoy.

Standard disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, setting and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation

of the original material and not for-profit it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Prologue

There was a crisp chill in the pre-dawn air. The surrounding forest was serenely quiet, the crickets having stopped their chirping and the birds not quite awake to start their song. The lake was as still as a pane of glass until the casting of his line broke its surface. He watched the ripples until they disappeared then sighed and shifted in his seat.

This was supposed to be his sanctuary. It was the one place that was his alone; where he could have peace and sort out his thoughts. For the last few weeks (or months if he was really honest) that sense of peace had eluded him. His thoughts and emotions were so jumbled he didn’t even know where to begin to straighten it out. He felt that his life was out of his control, as though he had spun off his axis. His eyes lifted to the east, watching the blossoming sunrise. As he observed the sky morph from midnight blue to royal purple to warm pink to red-orange as the ball of fire finally crested over the horizon he figured he could at least be truthful with himself.

His life was indeed in a tailspin, but it was one he had set in motion. Here in the still of the dawn, with no witnesses aside from the trout ignoring his bait he could freely admit his mistakes. He ran a tired hand over his unshaven face. The grass had truly seemed so much greener on the other side. He knew what he had, what he had cherished for nearly half of his life. It was comfortable, familiar, he knew what to expect…most of the time. He smirked; of course she did have those moments when he felt like he was walking a tight rope over shark-infested waters. He knew everything there was to know about her and she him; they fit together like puzzle pieces. When they met it was as though each of them had found a part of themselves that they hadn’t known was missing. His mother hated her, but his sisters had loved her from their first meeting, and later she was the obvious preference of their nieces and nephews. He had everything he had ever wanted, needed, or wished for. He was a neurosurgeon at one of the most prestigious hospitals in the country, he lived in a fantastic brownstone overlooking Central Park, and most importantly he had the love of his life, a beautiful intelligent woman, who could be hard as nails, call him on his crap, and go toe-to-toe with any man, yet he had the privilege of seeing her at her most caring, vulnerable, and passionate. He was the envy of every male and some of the female attendings in the hospital, but at some point it wasn’t enough. He found himself wanting more.

Well I got a good friend who's got a good life He's got [two pretty children] and a real nice wife But he never seems quite satisfied I said I know what's on your mind But you better think about it before you cross that line The grass aint always greener on the other side

He began to immerse himself more in his work, searching for what was missing. He was appointed head of neurosurgery and was invited to perform surgeries all over the world. He had multiple speaking engagements and was asked to lead various clinical trials. His wife was rapidly rising to the top of her field as well; they were the ultimate power couple; the ones everyone aspired to be. The only thing missing was the pitter patter of little feet, but the subject was thoroughly discussed and it was ultimately decided that they (she) simply weren’t (wasn’t) ready for that step yet.

So to pass the time until they (she) were (was) ready to take that plunge, he threw himself even more into his work. He listened with polite smiles to all the proud fathers raving about what geniuses their children were because they were granted early acceptance to Manhattan’s most exclusive private schools. He would bite back the retort that any child of his and Addie’s would make their child look like a dunce. Instead he congratulated the proud papas and scheduled another surgery.

He didn’t notice exactly when he started withdrawing from his wife, he just noticed that things just weren’t the same. He knew that he was having his best friend spend maybe a little too much time with his wife, but he wanted her occupied while he found whatever he was searching for. He provided her a place holder, if you will. Of course he didn’t mean for him to take his place everywhere, especially not his OWN BED, but apparently he wasn’t very clear.

But, on the bright side, it gave him his freedom, which is what he thought he wanted. He was free to find out what he was missing. So he moved across the country, and took up with an emotionally stunted girl who knew absolutely nothing about him. Someone who couldn’t tell what he was thinking just by looking in his eyes. Someone who put him on a pedestal and felt he could do no wrong. Someone who took him home after a few well-chosen words as opposed to making him wait eight long, Long, LOOOOOONNG months. So he lost himself in the fantasy. He was the charming, yet quirky neurosurgeon without a past that lived in a trailer on an amazing piece of land, and had annoyingly loud sex with his intern. No wife. No brownstone overlooking Central Park. No dreams of curly-headed little boys with her eyes or a little red-head in pigtails with his smile.

Now, he’s not sure exactly how long he thought the fantasy would last, but he knew it wasn’t over. She was not the kind of woman to let things end as they had. He knew she was coming. So when he looked up that night and saw her standing there in head-to-toe black with her head slightly tipped to the side, her eyebrow arched and looking bold as sin (an apt description for her), he wasn’t surprised. He was pissed, but not surprised. He felt his breath catch in his throat but the reasons were two-fold. One: He knew his happy charade had just been blown to smithereens and Two: She looked mouth-wateringly good. After fifteen years his body was trained to respond to hers and it was all he could do during their banter to keep from dragging her to the nearest room with a flat surface and a lock and having his way with her. Of course looking at her face and seeing flashes of the back of his best friend’s head provided the same effect as taking a leap in the Arctic Sea, which allowed him to keep his composure.

It was a given that he would take her back; it was the right thing to do. He would selflessly sacrifice his own happiness to take back his adulterous satanic bitch of a wife who betrayed him with his best friend since kindergarten and broke his heart. Because he was THAT guy. He was McDreamy. And, you know, everyone ignored the part where he drug her through the mud, called her names and treated her like shit, but of course that was only when he wasn’t ignoring her to openly flirt with his mistress in front of the entire hospital. And she being who she was she took it all with perfect grace. Even tried to be friends with the girl.

What surprised him though was that the girl still wanted anything to do with him. He completely neglected to tell her about his WIFE and made her the dirty mistress, but after about two days, she was okay with it. She even begged him to pick her. Which admittedly he found a bit flattering because the red-head? She would never beg. Yet, even after he picked the wife, the girl was still there, with the lost, longing, and pleading looks. The other side of the fence looked better and greener with each passing day, especially compared to the rocky, uneven field he was currently plowing. To be honest prom was really only a matter of time.

Then he had done it. He had broken himself completely free of the bonds that held him. She didn’t give him a choice this time, she just filed. And he was ecstatic he had finally jumped the fence. No more leash choking him. He was free to play and frolic in bathtubs and on-call rooms. The bastard flew out and began to pursue the red-head, but he really wasn’t worried. He knew they wouldn’t work out. And when the ex-best friend came and nearly brokenly confessed that she had cheated on him it was all he could do not to laugh in his face. It seemed karma was restoring balance to the world. The next thing he knew, she was gone for good. Looking for sunnier pastures.

Well I aint saying that looking's a crime Well I've done my share from time to time It dont mean that you gotta take that leap When you're standin' on the brink Before you jump you gotta step back and think There's price for ever promise you dont keep

Unfortunately he began to examine his new surroundings more closely and learned it wasn’t actually as green as it looked. He also found hidden roots that tripped him and land mines that blew in his face every time he thought they were making progress. Their relationship was nowhere near the smooth sail he had imagined. She seemed to fight him at every turn, and it was nothing like the sexy banter he was used to, but instead frustratingly drawn-out spats that didn’t seem to have a point. The relationship, if it could be called that, was sucking him dry. He was bending over backwards for her, including turning down his dream position. The one he had worked so hard to achieve. The only bright point was the sex.

But, they persevered. She sought therapy and eventually gave into him. The girl was certainly no church-goer, so they decided on a simple outdoor ceremony, one worlds away from his first nuptials. As he looked into those pale blue eyes surrounded by flat blonde hair and repeated after the minister a flash of red caught his eye. There she sat in the very last row. Though he had personally mailed the invitation to LA, he never expected her to come. He knew he certainly couldn’t watch her marry another, but he constantly underestimated her. As he locked eyes with her despite her oversized dark sunglasses, he felt his heart clench and his stomach drop as he watched a single, solitary tear roll down her porcelain face. He had always hated to see her cry and felt an urge to comfort her. That was the moment they were pronounced husband and wife, and the waifish blonde jumped into his arms enthusiastically kissing him. When he was able to glance back at her chair he found it empty.

Empty.

That’s how he’d been feeling ever since. They had been married six months, but were still living in the house with the other interns turned residents, because she wasn’t ready to move. The blueprints which had been created with someone else in mind were gathering dust in his desk. His ring was dull, without any engravings and felt heavy on his hand. He felt as though he was suffocating, even the sex had become routine. He missed the connection, being able to express his thoughts with just a look. To have some one give him what he needed without having to ask for it. As he thought over the past four years he realized he had given away everything that he had to step through the looking glass and now, all he wanted to do was go back.

Do what you want, do what you wish It's your life but remember this There's bound to be some consequences Sneaking under other fences Then what, what you gonna do When the new wears off and the old shines through And it aint really love and it aint really lust You aint anybody anyone's gonna trust Then what, where you gonna turn When you cant turn back for the bridges you burn And fate can't wait to kick you in the butt Then what

**********************************************************

Alright, so there’s the prologue. I promise I’m going somewhere with this. So now you review and then I post more. That’s how this relationship works; it’s a give-and-take. ;-D

R.I.P.

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 00:24:21 GMT

OMG.

The King of Pop is gone.

The KING OF POP is gone.

I'm not saying that he did not have his personal flaws, but his talent as an artist, songwriter, dancer is unmatched. He will be greatly missed. May he rest in peace.

New York, New York

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 21:11:39 GMT

I haven't really posted in a while, but since I'm in a current lull, it seems like a good time.

So, recently I was fortunate enough to take a trip to NYC. While there I discovered something: I LOVE NEW YORK!!!!!!! OMG, it was fantabulous! I loved everything from the view finders and ferry boats, to the Statue of Liberty and the Empire State building, to my favorite: the shows. We were able to see Wicked and I'm still on a high. Alli Mauzey is incredible, I was enchanted by her portrayl of Galinda/Glinda. Nicole Parker did a great job as well.

Something else I realized, the men of New York are much more forward than I'm used to. Not that I'm complaining; it was great for my self-esteem. ;-P

Of course, being in NYC had my head swimming with Addek thoughts, especially when we walked through Central Park. So, of course I have thoughts for a new fic which should be out shortly. If anyone is interested in being a beta, let me know!!

Besos!!

Picture to Burn

Sat, 04 Apr 2009 00:00:42 GMT

Okay, this was written for the Addison/Derek month and it is now horribly late, but I'm submitting it anyway. It's for the crossover theme and was intended to be light and breezy, but clearly that's not where my head is at. Anyhoo, enough rambling, enjoy!

Theme: Crossover
Prompt: picture
Rating: PG

Picture to Burn

It was something no one knew about.

You kept it hidden away, neatly tucked into your wallet. You only pull it from its hiding place when you’re having a really bad day, like when you lose a patient or have to deal with the extreme horror that humanity can inflict on each other. But, if you’re truthful, there are those other times. The times when the door to that little closet in your mind is unable to hold the pressure of 15 years of memories and it springs open, flooding your conscious mind with thoughts you desperately want to suppress.

Things were so much easier 15 years ago. You were young and in love and your biggest worry was whether or not you’d get an A in pathology. You lived in a crappy apartment where you boiled in the summer and froze in the winter, though one look into those twinkling blue eyes could warm you from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. The days when you spent lazy spring afternoons cuddled in each others arms reading medical textbooks. There were the weekends when the two of you, Naomi and Sam, and Mark and his flavor of the week would engage in marathon cut-throat games of Monopoly, Scrabble, or Uno. You had picnics in Central Park and later barbeques at the Hamptons house and Fourth of July fireworks. You were the Fab Five of N.Y. Two disgustingly in love couples that everyone knew would be together forever and the tagalong manwhore.

Of course while you enjoyed the times with the group, your favorites were when it was just the two of you. Making love in the early morning light; moans of ecstasy intermingling with giggles of pleasure. You invaded each other’s showers on a regular basis, though neither of you seemed to mind. You can’t help the smirk that spreads across your face as you remember your inability to keep your hands off each other; the multiple times you were caught in compromising positions and the even more numerous times that you weren’t. You take a sip of your scotch and glance over at the person you used to publicly call the love of your life. Now you only admit it to yourself in the wee hours of the night.

You sigh silently and look back at your friends, dancing around in celebration. Archer’s surgery isn’t exactly the theme you would have picked for a reunion, but at least there is a happy outcome. It’s been years since the five of you have been together. Though the dynamic of the group is dramatically different from the way it was before.

Curiously, Mark’s eyes don’t follow the movement of the waitress’ hips as she purposefully sashays past him.

Naomi’s eyes are alight at the fact that her current man candy, Archer nonetheless, is alive and well, and will hopefully stay that way for some time to come.

Sam’s eyes, however, follow Naomi’s every move; the naked longing for everything he threw away blatant to anyone who takes the millisecond to look.

Your former spouse takes the scene in with amused, but tired eyes. You see a flash of something familiar in them, but they are averted from your gaze before you can put a name to the look. A glass half-full of amber liquid is brought to the lips that used to yell your name so loudly the neighbors would bang on the walls and could yet torture you to the point of near madness. A tongue sneaks out to catch the stray drops, and you’re forced to avert your gaze.

Sometimes you can’t actually believe that this is your life. You wonder how you ended up here, divorced from the person you were certain you were to spend the rest of your life with.

You excuse yourself and make your way to the bathroom. Locking the door behind you, you turn and lean your palms heavily against the counter engaging in a staring contest with your haggard reflection. With a sigh you give in and pull out your wallet, quickly finding the forbidden item. As you look down at it, you can’t help the self-deprecating smirk that crosses your face as you imagine the reactions should anyone ever discover this little piece of history. Anger. Guilt. Confusion. Rage. Jealously. You run your fingers lightly over the smiling faces, a representation of your former selves frozen forever in time. Both of your eyes reflecting love, hope, and happiness, with no trace of the anguish, betrayal and mind-numbing pain that was to come.

In all honesty you probably should have disposed of it, burned it, or at the very least stored it in a dusty receptacle in a poorly accessible place. You certainly shouldn’t be carrying it on your person.

But you can’t let it go.

In some cultures it is believed that to photograph someone is to steal part of their soul, their very essence. You’d laughed when you first learned that fact, but years later as you sat before a fire with that picture in hand suddenly the idea was no longer humorous. To destroy that captured memory would irreparably fracture your very soul. So you resolved to keep it. It was neatly hidden, tucked carefully away from prying eyes and unanswerable questions regarding your commitment to your current life path.

With one last look at the face that still haunts your dreams; you return the memento to its place of concealment. You run a hand over your face and through your hair, before pasting your trademark smirk on your face. It’s your little secret.

And no one must ever know.

Writer's Block: What Kind of Wonderful?

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 01:49:15 GMT

A lot of people love the film It's a Wonderful Life. Some people find it to be not so wonderful. Do you have a favorite holiday-themed movie? And if so, what is it?

View 500 Answers

Miracle on 34th Street!!! (The original B&W version, not that color crap) Best Christmas movie ever.

Again

Sun, 21 Dec 2008 01:31:26 GMT

Title: Again
Rating: R/soft NC-17
Pairing: Addek

Hello, all. Happy Holidays!!! As is my custom, I chose to celebrate the end of the semester with a new fic.

Well, it’s not really new as it’s been on my computer for months, I just forgot to post it. Anyhoo, it’s based on one of my favorite songs of all time: “Again” by Janet Jackson. I can just sit and listen to that song on repeat, which is pretty much how this fic was created. I recommend playing the song as you read. Oh, and a bit of warning parts of this fic are more mature than others, feel free to skip to the next section if that’s not your cup of tea. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: All characters, events, settings and situations mentioned in this work are sole property of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for profit, in constitutes fair use.

Again

I heard from a friend today
And she said you were in town
Suddenly the memories came back to me in my
Mind

“You will not believe who I ran into today.” Savannah exclaimed as she flopped down in the seat in front of Addison, placing her bags and purse in the seat next to her. She nodded her thanks as the waiter passed her a menu.

Addison smirked as she perused her own menu. “If I won’t believe it, why tell me?”

“Stop being such a smart ass.”

“Sorry, it’s just my nature.”

“Oh, shut up and just guess.”

Addison laughed lightly. “Okay, okay…um, Russell Crowe?”

“No.”

“Johnny Depp?”

“Okay, if I had run into Johnny Depp, I would not be sitting here with you.”

“Fine, I give up who was it?”

“No, come on, guess; a realistic one this time. It’s someone we both know; one of us much more than the other.”

“Sav.” Addison stated fixing her with a look.

“Oh, fine,” she huffed. “Derek.”

Addison’s eyes shot up. “What?”

“I saw Derek today.” Savvy shifted her gaze back to the menu.

“Wh-when? Where?”

“Well, today obviously. I was dying for a caramel frappuccino, so I went to our favorite café and saw a familiar head of dark curly hair ordering an espresso.”

“What is he doing back in New York?”

“He said he was here for a conference-”

“The neurosurgery conference? He hates going to those.”

“Apparently he was presenting his findings on some research he was doing. Something about blah-blah-blah…I kind of tuned him out. He asked about you though.”

“He was just being polite,” Addison mumbled.

Savvy ignored her, “He asked how you were doing. If you were going to the gala…If you were seeing anyone…”

“He-wait how does he know about the gala?” The hospital was having a fund-raising event to encourage wealthy philanthropists to open their wallets in support of a new neo-natal pediatric wing.

“He said your chief told him about it and extended an invitation.”

“Great.” Addison folded her menu and placed it on the table in front of her. Savvy glanced up at her and raised an eyebrow.

“Already know what you’re going to order?”

Addison shook her head, “I’m not that hungry.”

Savvy sighed, “Addie I wouldn’t have told you if I knew you’d react like this.”

“I’m fine.”

“Addison, don’t try to pull that crap with me, I’ve known you for too long. Now, I’m sorry I-”

“Was he alone?” Addison interrupted.

“What?” Savvy asked startled by the question.

“Was he alone?” she repeated, “Or was he with…” she trailed off.

“He was alone,” Savvy replied softly.

How can I be strong I've asked myself
Time and time I've said
That I'll never fall in love with you again

When Addison returned to the hospital after lunch, the air felt different. The nurses were busy whispering to each other and stopped whenever she came near. Those that didn’t appear to be talking about her were giving her looks, some full of pity others dripping with contempt.

“Addison, ADDISON! Do you have a minute?” a male voice called.

Addison turned and found herself face to face with Joseph Brown, her Chief of Surgery. “I have a C-section in 20 minutes. Is something wrong?”

“No, no, nothing is wrong I just have a favor to ask.” She nodded. “I don’t know if you’re aware or not, but Derek is in town.”

“So, I’ve heard.”

“Well, I invited him to the dinner tomorrow, and I realized the only open seat is at your table. So, I suggested that you two attend together. That’s not going to be a problem is it?

“Um, no, of course not,” she sighed.

“Great. I told Derek it wouldn’t be an issue.” He glanced over her shoulder, “Ah, speak of the devil. Derek, you’re right on time, Addison just agreed to be your date for the evening.”

Wait, date? Who said anything about a date? Addison forced herself to take deep breaths as she turned to face her ex-husband. “Hello, Derek.”

“Hey, Addie.” He smiled at her, a hauntingly familiar look in his eyes, one that she couldn’t quite place. “How’ve you been?”

“Good, I’ve been good. Look, sorry to cut this short but I have a surgery in a few minutes. So, I’ll…see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, definitely. I’m looking forward to it.” He paused, “It’s really good to see you again, Addie,” he replied with a lingering glance.

“Yeah, um, you too.” She hastily made her escape and after rounding the corner, she disappeared into the nearest supply closet. Stop it! Damn it, he shouldn’t still affect me like this. She angrily wiped the tears from her cheeks. I’ve moved on, I’m over him.

A wounded heart you gave
My soul you took away
Good intentions you had many
I know you did

“Addison.”

“Derek.”

He let his eyes trail appreciatively over her form encased in a backless black satin dress that flowed over her curves like water. “You look incredible.”

She suppressed the shiver that went down her spine from his smoldering glance and delicately cleared her throat. “Thank you. You, um, you look rather nice yourself.”

He smirked as he looked down at his Armani suit. “This old thing?” His eyes twinkled, “I’ve been told that a classic suit never goes out of style.”

Addison smiled softly as she remembered telling him that so many years before, when they bought the suit. “That is a very true statement and obviously made by someone with impeccable taste.”

He grinned and nodded his agreement, before offering her his arm. “Shall we?”

She hesitated slightly before slipping her arm through his.

As the pair entered the ballroom, Addison could feel the gazes zero in on them like laser sight. She squared her shoulders, held her head high, and refused to make eye contact with anyone as Derek led them to their table. En route they were stopped by no less than seven people, all attempting (some not so discretely) to determine what was happening between the once Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd. Derek charmingly greeted them all and answered questions regarding life in Seattle flashing his trademarked grin, while smoothly avoiding any and all inquiries pertaining to his former wife or the length of his stay.

When they finally reached their appointed table he gallantly held her chair for her as she sat down. He adjusted his chair closer to hers before sitting. Addison noted his close proximity, but kept her mouth closed. They sat politely through the boring speeches, and made small talk with their tablemates through dinner, dessert, and drinks. As the music began to play Derek stood and offered her his hand, “Would you care to dance?”

She raised her eyebrow, but placed her hand in his, allowing him to pull her to her feet. “You hate dancing,” she couldn’t help but point out as he led them to the dance floor.

“Well, over the years I’ve learned that with the right partner it can be quite an enjoyable experience. Plus, it gives me an excuse to hold the most beautiful woman in the room.”

Addison laughed softly, “Wow, that was unbelievably corny,” she noted as she placed one hand on his shoulder and the other in his waiting one.

“Maybe,” he smirked, placing his hand on her hip, “but it got you to smile.” He looked into her eyes as they began to sway gently to the music.

“What are you doing, Derek? Why aren’t you here with Meredith? As I recall she was a part of your research as well.”

Derek sighed, “She was, but our relationship has been strictly professional for sometime now. We are at different stages in our life and our goals aren’t compatible. I was sick of feeling like second-string, the guy she called when she needed a good fu-”

“I get it,” she quickly interrupted. That was a visual she just didn’t need.

“Sorry,” he smiled sheepishly. “But I was forced to do some thinking about what I really wanted from a relationship, and I realized that she just wasn’t it. We don’t want the same things and I’m not sure we ever will.”

I come from a place that hurts
And God knows how I've cried
And I never want to return
never fall again

Addison nodded mutely and looked over his shoulder as they continued to dance in silence; she was desperately trying to keep the memories of their last dance from invading her thoughts. “You really do look breath-taking,” he whispered into her ear. She shifted her gaze and their eyes locked in an intense staring match, each searching for something in the other’s soul. Without breaking eye contact he shifted his hand from her hip to the small of her back and pulled her closer to him. When he felt no resistance, he leaned in and gently brushed his lips across hers. His touch was so soft that it could barely be considered a kiss, but the tremors that went through her body were a very real thing. He raised his hand to sweep a stray hair behind her ear then tenderly cradled her face in his palm, running his thumb lightly across her lips. “I’ve missed you, Addie,” he whispered.

Addison did not respond verbally, but instead leaned forward to initiate another kiss. As she gently pulled away she stared into his eyes and made a decision. She had missed him so much for so long, she decided to give herself this one night. Just one night. For closure, she assured herself. But first he would have to make a decision as well.

Without a word she spun on her heel and returned to the table, grabbing her bag and wrap and polishing off her glass of wine. She then made her way towards the exit, not bothering to check and see if he was following for she knew he was. She slid gracefully into the car she had hired for the night, quickly giving the address to the driver as he held the door. As Derek scooted onto the seat beside her, she turned to face him. She traced his facial features, before once again capturing his lips with hers, both for her own pleasure and to distract him from their destination. He eagerly responded to the kiss, pulling her closer to him and running his fingers through her long locks. He felt the car slowing and looked out of the window curious to see where she now lived, and was surprised to find himself in very familiar surroundings.

He opened the door and stepped out, then turned and offered her his hand. He watched her walk up the steps to their brownstone before turning and addressing him. “You have two choices: You can come in with me or you can have the driver take you back to your hotel. It’s your decision.” With that she unlocked the door and disappeared inside. Derek turned and walked back to the car, where the driver still held the door open. He paused and glanced over his shoulder at the brownstone, before reaching into his wallet and pulling out a tip for the driver. He then took a deep breath, turned and walked into the home he hadn’t seen in three years.

Not too much had changed he noted, a modified color scheme, a few new pictures; the only thing really missing was him. Hearing the clinking of glasses he turned to see her walk in with a scotch for him and a martini for herself. He accepted the drink and after taking a sip placed it on the coffee table. He then reached up and removed the pins from her hair, allowing it to cascade down her shoulders in waves. Derek gently caressed her cheek, before pulling her close for a searing kiss to which she immediately responded. Addison pushed his jacket from his shoulders letting it fall to the floor. He slid his hands down her sides to her hips and bunched her dress up at her waist, before bending slightly at the knee and lifting her easily into his arms so that she straddled his hips and carrying her up the stairs.

Making love to you
Oh it felt so good and
Oh so right

Derek opened the door to their bedroom relieved to see a new bed, a sleigh bed at that, the style he favored. He laid her gently down on the comforter and took in her mussed hair and kiss-swollen lips. He slowly removed her dress leaving her in black La Perla panties, along with her stockings and black Manolo Blahnik stilettos. She sat up and reached for him as he kicked off his shoes and crawled onto the bed. She unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it to the floor, before reaching for his pants. After divesting him of his pants, she flipped him onto his back and straddled him. They locked eyes and she raised a hand to trace his features, resting on his lips before tracing down his neck and across his chest, feeling him tense beneath her as she traced his abs. She never lost eye contact as she continued her path downward, teasing the waistband of his boxer briefs, then reached between her legs to cup his growing erection. He groaned and reached up to grasp her breasts massaging them in his hands. She hummed low in her throat at the contact and unconsciously rocked her hips against him as he brushed over her already hardened nipples.

He smirked at her reaction as he rolled them over, taking his turn to play with her. He kissed her hair, then her forehead, her eyes, both of her cheeks, her jaw, and hovered above her lips barely brushing them with his own. He teased her until she groaned in frustration then gently covered her lips with his. He slid his tongue into her mouth, dueling with hers until they both gasped for breath. Derek pulled away and continued his journey down, kissing her neck and along her clavicle. He kissed the swell of her breasts and the valley between, taking pleasure in her moans. He lightly massaged the right breast, while directing his attention to the left. He kissed all around her breast licking the soft underside. He then flicked her nipple with his tongue as she squirmed beneath him and her eyes slid closed. He lapped at her areola before blowing cool air on it and feeling her shiver. Deciding she had enough, he lowered his warm, wet mouth to her nipple and sucked, hard. She immediately arched her back into him, her hands diving into his hair as she moaned his name. He continued his ministrations on the right breast, before kissing down her flat abdomen to the waistband of her panties. He slid his hand under the already damp material. Finding her more than ready, he hooked his thumbs under the waistband and eased them down her long legs.

Derek crawled back up her body and settled between her thighs, exhaling against her core. Each breath sent shivers through her body. He placed light kisses along her inner thighs, slowly working his way up her form. He kissed all along her pelvis and used his fingers to gently stroke her, smearing her arousal. “Oooh,” Addison sighed, her hands gripping the sheets tightly in her fists. He began moving his fingers at an unhurried pace, pushing her closer to the brink, but purposely avoiding her most sensitive point. “Derek,” she pleaded huskily. He smirked, then placed his tongue where she wanted it the most. Her body jerked in response and he stabilized her hips in his hands. He began licking and sucking in earnest and lifted her leg over his shoulder to give him better access before reinserting his fingers. “Ahh,” Addison moaned and began to rock her hips against his face, threading her fingers through his hair. He picked up the pace of his fingers as he felt her tighten around him. With one final twist he sent her gasping over the edge. He kept going until she stopped trembling.

He removed his fingers and moved up her body, grinning at her as she caught her breath. Addison smirked at him and flipped them over so she was once again straddling him. After pecking his lips, she kissed down his neck and chest, swirling her tongue in his navel as she dragged his boxers down his legs and allowed his erection to spring free. She stroked his shaft the way he liked, looping her thumb across the tip to smear the moisture gathered there, and he groaned in response. She glanced up his body through half-lidded eyes and he smiled back at her. Addison positioned herself more comfortably over him, resting her palms on his chest. She teased him by hovering above and only letting him enter her slightly before pulling back. He hissed her name and she only smirked in response. Addison repeated the move several times, each time taking him a bit deeper, before he lost patience. Derek growled and grabbed her hips pushing him into her fully. Both gasped at the sensation. After taking a few moments to adjust to the once familiar feeling Addison began to move her hips, she clenched around him and he moaned her name. Derek admired the view as he reached up to palm her breasts, before dropping a hand to rub circles around her clit. Addison cried out and increased her pace as she felt herself getting closer. With one hand keeping pressure on her clit the other dropped to her hips to help her keep the pace, their pelvises grinding together furiously. As she felt herself reaching the edge she scratched her nails down his chest moaning his name. She had missed this, she had missed him. He sat up as he felt her begin to spasm around him, capturing her mouth as she screamed reaching her peak. He tried to hold out, but her walls were milking him as she gave into her pleasure, and he gave in coming blissfully with her.

So here we are alone again'
Didn't think it'd come to this
And to know it all began
With just a little kiss

I've come too close to happiness
To have it swept away
Don't think I can take the pain
No never fall again

Hours later Addison lay on the bed staring at the ceiling, her arms crossed protectively across her chest, thoughts racing through her brain. What did you do? What did you JUST do? She looked to her right to see Derek in peaceful slumber beside her. Figures he’d be able to sleep. She sighed and turned back towards the ceiling. What were you thinking? That it had been far too long. And the man is good, she smirked as she shifted positions. But I’ll admit I’ve had better ideas. “Just one night.” Yeah, right. Idiot. The man is like Lays, you can’t have just one.

And he’s not staying; he’s not yours anymore. When he leaves you’re going to fall apart again. No, I won’t. This is strictly a physical attraction, no emotional attachment whatsoever. I can’t go through that again.

“I can hear you thinking.” He cracked an eye at her. “What’s wrong?”

You mean besides me setting myself up for heartbreak? “Nothing,” she replied.

“So, nothing is keeping you awake at,” he leaned over her to glance at the clock, “3:22 in the morning?”

“I guess I’m just feeling a little restless.”

“Restless, huh? Well, why don’t we work off a bit of that energy.” He suggested rolling on top of her. Addison smiled into his kiss. Mmm, I love this man. Oh, shit. I’m screwed.

Kinda late in the game and my heart is in
Your hands
Don't you stand there and then
Tell me you love
Me then leave again
Cause I'm falling in love with
You again

Addison watched Derek across the table; she tried to hide her smirk behind the newspaper.

He looked up at her as he bit into a piece of toast, “What?” he asked.

She laughed, “You, um, you have a little something right here.” She wiped the corner of his mouth.

“Oh, thanks, babe.” He took another bite of toast, once again getting crumbs on his mouth. This time she couldn’t hold in her laughter. “What?” he asked again.

“Nothing,” she laughingly replied, hiding behind the paper, yet still sneaking glances at him. I can’t believe I’m back here again.

“Okay,” he said, shaking his head at her. “I, uh, I talked to Richard today.”

“Oh, yeah?” she took a sip of her coffee. “What did he have to say?”

“Well, first he and Adele send their regards.” She smiled at that. “And second he wanted to know when I was coming back.”

Addison felt the bottom drop out of her stomach. She snaked a shaky hand towards her coffee cup, then decided against it, returning her hand to her lap. Clearing her throat, she asked, “And what did you tell him?”

Derek cut into his egg-white omelet, “I told him I’d be back by the end of the week. I already booked my flight, I leave Friday morning.”

Hold me
Hold me
Don't ever let me go
Say it just one time
Say you love me

Two bodies lay intertwined beneath 500-count Egyptian cotton sheets, waiting for their breathing to return to normal. They lay on their sides facing each other, each mirroring the soft grin they saw on the other’s face. Addison reached up and brushed the dark curls from his face. She let her fingers trail down his face, continuing down his neck and across his chest to his stomach where she knew he was ticklish. As she began her assault he jerked back and away from her rolling onto his back, pulling a face at her laughter. He then returned the favor, attacking her sides causing her to yelp and giggle. He drew her closer to him and she snuggled into his side. He wrapped his arms around her; one hand on her hip, the other stroking her fire-colored mane. “So,” he began, “I had a meeting with Joe today.”

She shifted so she could look at his face, “And what did the Chief have to say?”

He shrugged and pulled her closer, “Oh, not much. He asked how things were going. If I was happy out in Seattle…If I would like my old job back.” He felt her tense his arms, and he ran his fingers through her hair. “I haven’t given him my answer yet.”

Addison cleared her throat, “And what is your answer?”

“It’s a really good offer. He’s offering a fifty percent pay increase and assures me that I would be one of the top runners for Chief of Surgery when he retires.”

“That is a good offer. But you do know that you’ll be competing against me again.”

“I know. And with you and Burke gone and Mark thinking about making the move to LA, I’m guaranteed COS in Seattle. Plus, if I were to tell Richard about the offer I’m pretty sure he would match or surpass it.”

“Well, it sounds like you have a sure thing in Seattle.”

“Yeah.”

She bit her lip. “So I guess your decision is obvious.” She looked up to meet his eyes.

He nodded, “Glaringly so.”

She dropped her gaze to his chest. Stupid, stupid!! You knew he was leaving. Why did you get attached again? She felt the tears building behind her eyes. No, no, you will not cry in front of him. You will NOT. “Well, it seems settled then.”

“It is.” She nodded. “I’m staying in New York.” Her eyes shot back up to his.

“What? But-but why?” she stuttered.

“Because,” he sighed, “I’ve finally come to realize what’s important. And it’s not the career, the prestige, the money, the surgeries, or being COS. In the end it’s having someone to share it with, someone to come home to, someone who loves you unconditionally, and who’ll call you on your shit when necessary. I had that before and I threw it away.” He tightened his grip on her. “I may have my moments, but I’m not stupid enough to do that again. I’m not going to let you go, Addison. I love you.”

God knows I do
Love you
Again

Okay, I’ll be honest here: I’m a review whore, so make my Christmas jolly and leave one for me, m’kay? Great.

It is done.

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 03:14:32 GMT

Read if you like the ramblings of the delirious...

So, today I sat for another one of those tests that could change the rest of my life. The difference between those other times and this time is the tiny, insignificant fact that this time I took the test on NO sleep. And I do mean no sleep, none whatsoever. It's not that I didn't try to sleep, (believe me I tried every remedy in the book (ASIDE: which is a weird little phrase, where exactly is this book that is so often referred to?) it just didn't happen. I just laid in bed completely alert all night. I heard the wind blowing out side, my air conditioning flipping on and off, the soft swoosh of my curtains, and the beating of my heart marking the passing seconds. Oh, and did I mention that the test was NINE HOURS!!!!!! I am absolutely exhausted, and drained, and...well, pooped. But the good thing is it's over, so all the stressing and headaches/nausea that have come from it can now go away. I walked out of the test with no clue how I did and I really didn't care at that point I was just thankful that it was over. So, I'm back at my place and I think I'm slightly delirious so now that I've rambled a bit, I'm gonna relax with a glass or two of Jack, and hopefully pass out until morning. Cheers!

Happy Birthday to me!

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 02:57:01 GMT

So, I'm another year older. Another year wiser? Debatable. ::sigh:: Time goes so quickly. Of course since it's Thursday and all my friends have to work, we can't celebrate today. But, I'll makeup for it tomorrow. I'm in a rather reflective mood. I should be studying but I don't wanna...It just isn't right to have to study on your b-day. Instead I guess I could finish one of the fics I'm working on... For now I think I'll drown my thoughts in liquor and cake.

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 04:49:42 GMT

Title: Daddy
Rating: PG
Character: Derek

Derek spends the day with his daughter.

So, this is a little piece that popped into my head. My life is currently in limbo so this was my effort to procrastinate and relieve stress. On a completely unrelated note, has anyone seen “She done him wrong” featuring Mae West? It’s a classic I recently purchased; I highly recommend it.

Disclaimer: I do not own or have any claim to anything affiliated with Grey's Anatomy...except for my DVDs...and soundtracks...and calendar...

“Daddy!”

Derek Shepherd groaned as he rolled over in bed. He didn’t even have to look at the clock to know that it was way too early to hear that little voice. He extended his hand to the left and frowned when it fell flat onto the cold sheets. He looked over to see her side of the bed completely undisturbed; not even the pillow was indented. He sighed and shifted onto his back pulling the comforter above his head, trying to find a few minutes of peace.

“Daddy?!!”

The voice was getting closer. He figured he had maybe a few seconds left before-

“Umph,” he grunted as a weight dropped onto his chest. “Daddy!!” He groaned as the covers were yanked away from his face. “Daddy!” He kept his eyes stubbornly closed. “Daaaaaaad-dyyyy!!” she drew out, shaking his shoulders a bit. “Daddy, you hafta get up!!” Derek cracked one eye open then shifted quickly, causing his daughter to topple before he began attacking her stomach, her peals of laughter bringing a smile to his face. She had her mother’s laugh.

“Daddy! Daddy stop, I can’t bweathe!” She squealed.

Derek relented and leaned back, staring into his daughter’s blue-green eyes. She had her mother’s eyes and nose and her silky red hair, but that was his smile grinning back at him. At three years old Simone Shepherd was already quite a beauty; Derek made a mental note to purchase a gun for her teenage years. “Good morning, Munchkin.”

“Good morning, Daddy.”

“Are you hungry?” She nodded. “What do you want for breakfast?”

She thought hard for a moment. “Mmm, I want pan-a-cakes!” she responded brightly.

Derek chuckled lightly, “Alright, I’ll fix you some pancakes. Go get washed up and brush your teeth.”

“Okay,” Simone replied, bouncing off the bed and rushing off to her bathroom.

Derek shook his head at her as he pushed himself up from the bed. He smiled softly as he thought back to the day he found out he was going to be a father.

“Lucy, I’m home!!” He grinned; it was a long-running joke in their marriage. He never got tired of it and she just smirked and rolled her eyes.

“I’ll be with you in a minute, dear.” Her voice floated down the stairs. He hung up his coat, set his briefcase near the door and his shoes near the stairs before collapsing on the couch in the den and flicking on the TV. Five minutes later he was engrossed in the football game when he heard her footsteps on the stairs. He looked up and saw her pad into the room wearing a pair of green silky lounge pants and black tank top. “Hey, babe,” she said, greeting him with a quick kiss on the cheek. She moved to pull away, but he grabbed her around the waist causing her to fall on top of him. Derek then kissed her properly, his hands creeping beneath her top making her giggle. “Derek! Derek, stop,” she laughed, pushing him away.

“What?” he asked, looking up at her innocently.

“How about some conversation first?”

He gave a long-suffering sigh, “If you insist.”

She rolled her eyes, “How was your day?”

“Great. And getting better by the minute,” he said, slipping his hand into her pants.

“Derek!” She squirmed on his lap. “Are you hungry?”

“Famished,” he replied with a wicked grin, his hand moving lower.

“I meant for food,” she protested as he flipped her over.

“I didn’t,” he whispered as his lips descended on hers.

+++

Two hours later, Addison walked into the room carrying their reheated plates. Derek’s gaze travelled appreciatively over her form encased only in his dress shirt. “Dinner is served,” she paused, “although I suppose at this point it’s more like a midnight snack.”

He glanced at the plates which contained baby back ribs, baby corn, and baby carrots. He cocked an eyebrow, “Interesting combination.”

She shrugged, “I was going for a theme.”

He glanced back at the plate and frowned, “Most colorful?”

She smirked, “No.”

“Tiny foods?”

“Getting warmer.” He continued to frown. She hid her smile, “Think of the names of the foods.”

“I don’t see a connection between ribs, carrots, and corn.”

She sighed, “And you call yourself a neurosurgeon.” She glanced at the clock. “Well, it’s after midnight so I guess I can give you this.” She leaned over and opened the end table drawer and handed him an envelope.

“What’s this?”

She shrugged, “Open it.”

He slipped his finger beneath the flap and ripped it open and pulled out the card. The front of it showed a bear in a boat fishing with his little cub. It read: To the world’s Best Dad… He opened the card. Happy Father’s Day! He looked up at her, “Seriously?”

She smiled, “Happy Father’s Day, Derek.”

+++

Derek shook himself out of his memories as he heard little feet running down the stairs. “Hey, slow down!” he called as she slid into the kitchen. He flipped the last pancake onto the stack. “Ready to eat?”

She nodded and held up her hands. Derek picked her up and sat her in her booster seat at the table. He cut up her pancake and set it in front of her along with bacon, fresh fruit, and orange juice. “Thank you, Daddy.”

He smiled, “You’re welcome, Munchkin.” He watched her eat. Munchkin wasn’t his original nickname for her. He had always dreamed of calling his daughter “Princess,” but Addison wouldn’t hear of it. They’d argued about it during her pregnancy.

“You are not calling our child Princess, Derek.” They were lying on the couch watching the Wizard of Oz; her head was in Derek’s lap and he was scratching her scalp.

“Why not? I think it’s cute.”

“We are not raising a spoiled little girl. I want her to be strong and independent and not feel like she has to wait for Prince Charming to come and rescue her.”

“Didn’t your father call you Princess?”

“Even more reason not too.”

“Well, what do you have in mind?”

She shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t know.” She glanced back towards the television just in time to see the Lollipop Guild’s performance, and giggled as she always did. She watched the ballerinas of the Lullaby League dance and her eyes softened. “What about munchkin?”

“Munchkin, huh? I don’t know.” He moved his hand down to the swell of her abdomen. “What do you think little one? Are you a munchkin?” They both laughed as he felt the strong kick against his hand. “Munchkin it is, then.”

+++

“All done, Daddy.”

Derek snapped back to the present and looked over at his daughter, suppressing a chuckle. She had syrup all over her face and down the front of her pajamas. He walked over and lifted her from her booster seat. “C’mon, little one. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

“Then we go see Mommy?”

He nodded, “Then we’ll go to see Mommy.”

She grinned, her blue-green eyes sparkling, “Can I take the picture I made for her?”

Derek smiled and again nodded, “I think that she’d like that.” He walked up to her bathroom and stripped of the sticky, syrup covered pajamas and washed her up. He then dressed her in her favorite Tinkerbell short set and brushed her long red hair into two ponytails. He smirked as he remembered the first time he tried to do her hair. It was an absolute disaster. Luckily, Adele took pity on the poor child and walked him through it, all the while chuckling under her breath how a neurosurgeon couldn’t make a straight part. When he was done she settled her in front of the TV to watch Sesame Street, while he got dressed.

As he walked back down the hall to her room he could hear her singing. He leaned on the door jam as he watched her sing along with Cookie Monster and dance around the room. She giggled and danced like no one was watching, her red hair twirling about behind her. Derek swallowed hard and squeezed his eyes shut, running a hand across his face.

“Daddy?” He looked down into his daughter’s bright eyes. “Daddy, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, sweetheart. Why don’t we stop and get Mommy some flowers?”

“Yea, we should get her the pretty red ones. The orch-lids.”

“They’re called orchids, sweetie.”

“Yea, those.”

He smiled, “Okay, let’s go.” He picked up the three-year old and carried her down to the Range Rover, strapping her in tightly. They drove to the florist to pick up the orchids and continued on their way. Derek looked in the rearview as he pulled into the parking lot and saw that Simone was fast asleep. Not wanting to wake her yet, he sat there and stared straight ahead.

“Derek? Derek, I’ve got to go in.”

“Hmm? What?” He yawned as he rolled over. “Where are you going?”

“I’ve got to go to the hospital.”

He sat up, suddenly wide awake. “What is it? Is it the baby? Is it time? She’s early!! She can’t-”

“Baby, calm down.” Addison laughed, cutting him off. “I am fine. Simone is fine. I just got called in. My triplets case just went into labor.”

“Oh,” he breathed, his heart rate slowly returning to normal. “But, you’re not on call.”

‘I know, but Neela is special to me. This has been a difficult pregnancy for her and I promised that if at all possible I would deliver her babies.”

“But you’re on maternity leave.”

“No, technically my leave starts tomorrow at eight am.” She slowly rolls out of bed. “Besides this is my last delivery for at least the next six months, there’s no way I’m going to miss this and there’s nothing you can say to stop me.”

He chuckles as he rolls out of bed and begins pulling on his pants. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

She glances over at him. “What are you doing?”

“Getting dressed.”

“Why?”

“So, I can drive you in.”

“Why?”

“Because I would prefer not to wander about my place of employment in my pajamas,” he yawned.

“No.”

“What?”

“No,” she repeated shaking her head. “No, you’re not driving me in.”

“Addie-”

“No, Derek.” She gently, but firmly pushed him back onto the bed. “You just worked a forty-eight hour shift. The only thing that you are going to do is go back to sleep.”

“But, it’s late-”

“Shh.” She placed her finger to his lips. “No arguing with the pregnant lady. Go to sleep. I’ll be back before you wake up.”

+++

Fifty-five minutes later, Derek was awoken by the shrill ring of the phone. He blindly groped for it and then put it to his ear. “Derek Shepherd.”

“Shepherd,” Burke’s deep baritone boomed through the phone. “We need you to come in.”

Derek groaned. “I’m not on call, Wilson is.”

“No, Shepherd,” he paused and sighed, “Derek, it-it’s Addison.”

Derek had no recollection of how he’d gotten to Seattle Grace. He’d very likely driven straight through every light green or not. All he knew as he burst into the ED is that he needed to see Addison. “Where is she?” he asked, spinning about, looking for a glimpse of her hair. Everyone just looked back at him sympathetically. “WHERE IS SHE?!!!!” he roared.

“Derek,” called a soft voice from behind him. He whipped around to stare into Bailey’s warm eyes. “She’s in here.” She stood before a secluded room. We’re pre-oping her now. She was hit on the driver’s side by some drunk who ran a stop sign. She was stable, but now both her and the baby’s stats are dropping, we’re taking her in for an emergency c-section and ex lap.

“I need to see her,” he said pushing forward.

“Derek,” he turned, “she has a lot of lacerations and contusions, but remember she’s strong.” He nodded and walked in the room. He nearly gasped from the pain in his chest at seeing her like that. He walked over to the bed and gently caressed her bruised and battered face. Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled gently at him. “Hey.”

“Hey,” he replied softly. His eyes ticked over to the monitors. “You gave me quite a scare; I think I just lost ten years off my life.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” She shifted slightly and winced in pain. Her eyes followed the tracing of the fetal heart rate and she sighed as she saw the late decelerations. “They’re taking me in for a c-section.”

“I know.”

She blinked back her tears, “I really wanted to do this vaginally.”

He nodded sympathetically. “I know, baby, but just think: in a few hours we’re going to be parents.” He paused then grinned. “Maybe you can have the next one vaginally.”

She laughed lightly, “The next one, huh? So you plan on knocking me up again?”

“Oh, most definitely,” he confirmed with a wicked grin. “If for no other reason than to experience the second trimester again.” Her cheeks flushed rosy pink as she giggled.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too.”

He leaned over and placed a gentle kiss to her lips, lingering there until he had to pull away for a breath. “I don’t want to lose you. You can’t leave me,” he pleaded softly.

“Hey,” she brushed his hair from his face and gently cupped his cheek, “I’ll be fine. Go get some rest.” She winked at him. “I’ll be back before you wake up.”

+++

Derek sat in the waiting room his knees bobbing up and down nervously, his hands wrapped tightly around a cup of bad hospital coffee. Unable to sit still, he got up and paced the room for the thousandth time. He tossed his now cold cup of sludge into the garbage and raked his fingers through his hair. He sighed then glanced at his watch again. Too much time had passed. He should know something by now. The dull ache in the chest began to increase. Something was wrong.

“Derek.” He spun around to see Burke and Bailey standing in the doorway. The Nazi edge was completely gone from her voice and Burke’s typical arrogance had dissipated. As soon as he locked eyes with Bailey, he knew his worst fears had come true. He sank to the floor in an ungraceful heap, the dull ache blossoming into a crushing vice as he felt his heart cease to beat. He cradled his head in his hands, his brain barely registering her next words: “I’m so sorry, Derek. We lost her. She-she’s gone.”

Derek laid his hand on the hard, cold granite trying to imagine that he could still sense her warmth. He blinked back his tears and tried to breathe through the tightness in his chest. It had been three years but the pain was as fresh as the day it happened.

“…and then Jamie pulled Lisa’s hair and Ms. Simmons put him in time out. Ms. Simmons is my teacher. She’s really, really nice. Yesterday we had to draw family pictures. I drew a picture for you, Mommy. See there’s Daddy, that’s me, and that’s you. And those are your wings ‘cause Daddy says you’re in heaven with the angels. I wish you didn’t have to be in heaven now, Mommy. I wish we were all together here. Daddy sometimes watches videos of you and me too. Those are better than the pictures. Daddy and Aunt Adele and Grandma all say I look like you, and Daddy says I have your laugh.” Simone paused and sighed, “I miss you, Mommy.” She lays her picture at the base of the stone. “Happy Birthday.” She steps back and looks up at her father. “Daddy, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, sweetheart.” Derek leaned over and placed the flowers over the picture to anchor it. “Happy Birthday, Addie.” He lightly caressed the grave marker running his fingers over the engraved angel and released a soft sigh, “I miss you so much. I wish you were here by my side to see our daughter grow up.”

“Grandma says that Mommy is watching over us from heaven.”

Derek turned and gently smiled down at his daughter. “She’s right.”

“Grandma’s right a lot. So are Aunt Adele and Aunt Miranda.”

He smirked, “Yes, they usually are.” He leaned down and scooped Simone up into his arms. “Come on, Munchkin. It’s time for your nap.”

+++

Later that night, after Simone had her bath and bedtime story and finally closed her bright eyes in slumber, Derek climbed tiredly into his bed. As his head sunk into the pillows, he glanced to the left, running his fingers over the cool sheets. He allowed his gaze to drift past her pillows to the nightstand where her novel still sat, her place still bookmarked. He sighed and rolled over onto his stomach, clutching his pillow.

I’ll be back before you wake up.

He closed his eyes tight and prayed this would be the night he would finally wake up.

+++

A little different than my usual fare. I tend to lean towards happier endings, but it wasn’t in the cards for this one. Perhaps it’s my more pessimistic side coming through. Ah, well. Review please!

Chapter 15: Runaway Bride Part 2

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 02:56:25 GMT

Here's the second part!

Addison returned to the bridal suite and the next thing she knew, she was standing before the full length mirror in her cream colored gown, her hair in curls atop her head as Gwen arranged her veil. “You look absolutely gorgeous, Addie.”

Addison blushed as red as her hair, “Thank you.”

“It’s really not fair how beautiful she looks,” Julie noted.

“I know. If we weren’t friends, I’d hate her,” Robin replied.

“Shut up!” Addison exclaimed. There was a soft knock at the door as it eased open.

“Might I have a brief moment alone with the bride?” a deep male voice softly inquired. The ladies looked up to lock eyes with the distinguished Thomas Montgomery. It was obvious this was not really a question.

“Of course. We’ll just be in the other room, okay Addie?” Addison nodded and watched the door close behind her friends before turning her eyes to her father. They stood in silence for a few moments. Addison began to fidget under her father’s intense green-eyed stare. “You…um…you wanted to talk to me?” she asked hesitantly.

The elder Montgomery nodded. “You look absolutely beautiful,” he began softly. Addison blushed. “Just like your mother the day I married her.” He sighed and walked toward her. “I think you’re more like your mother than either of you realize.” Addison looked at him questioningly as they settled on the overstuffed sofa. “What do you mean, Daddy?” Thomas turned his gaze to look out the picture window to the crystal blue ocean beyond. “I love your mother more than life itself, always have and always will. I fell in love with her the day we met. I know that she loves me as well, but…” He returned his gaze to his daughter. “She has never been in love with me.”

“Daddy-”

“We were happy for a time, but I wasn’t what she needed. What she wanted. I was what she settled for. I didn’t realize it at the time, of course. I was so in love, I just knew I wanted that woman. And I got her. But I couldn’t make her happy, really and truly happy. It took me years to figure that out. Your mother chose the safe route. She knew I was more invested in the relationship than she, so she had the upper hand. She knew that I could never hurt her, if I didn’t completely have her in the first place. So, I did what I could. I became the best damn attorney in the city so she could brag to her society friends. I brought home a seven figure paycheck so she could buy the latest fashions from Milan. I turned a blind eye to her numerous liaisons, though I never had one of my own. This is the life that we chose for ourselves, but,” he lifted her chin so they were eye to eye, “this is not the life I wanted for my princess.”

Addison began shaking her head, despite the tears growing in her eyes, “Daddy, it’s not the same thing. I-I love Jake.”

Thomas nodded. “I know that you love him. But are you in love with him?” She broke eye contact. “You’re still in love with Derek.” Her eyes shot back up to his. “Addison everyone can see it. Even Jake would see it if he wasn’t so busy looking through glasses so rose-colored I’m surprised he hasn’t been pricked by the thorns.” He sighed, “I’m not saying that I approve of the choice. I hate the son of a bitch for hurting you, and would like nothing more than to peel the flesh slowly from his bones, then rip him limb from limb, but,” he paused to brush a tear from her face. “We can’t help who we love.”

“We had our chance before, two actually and we both screwed it up.”

“Addison, real love isn’t easy. It hurts and takes work and effort and at times makes you want to strangle your partner and pull your hair out by the roots, but in the end it’s worth it.”

“Some things aren’t meant to be,” she says wistfully, wiping away her tears.

“If it wasn’t meant to be, you wouldn’t be in so much pain.”

“I don’t want to get hurt again.”

“Sweetheart, it’ll hurt so much worse in the long run if you marry a man you don’t love. And you’ll not only hurt yourself, but you’ll hurt him and any children you have as well.” He stroked her hair sadly. “I may not have been the best father, but trust me on this, Princess. You don’t want that life.”

A light knock on the door interrupted them. “I’m sorry to intrude, but it’s time.” Gwen said with a smile, which dropped slightly when she noticed Addison’s face. Thomas stood. “I’ll see you out there. Remember what I said, Princess.”

Gwen waited until Thomas was gone before she approached Addison and asked, “Is everything okay, honey?”

“I don’t want to make a mistake. I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“Addie, you have to do what’s best for you. Just follow your heart and you won’t go wrong. And remember no matter who you marry, I will always consider you to be one of my daughters.”

*************************************************

Addison watched as her bridesmaids and groomsmen made their way down the aisle, followed by the ring bearer and flower girl. The sunset reflected on the water provided the perfect backdrop and she was glad she had opted for an outside ceremony. She heard the first few chords of the wedding march and felt her chest tighten.

“Princess?” She turned to look at her father. “Are you ready?” Addison forced a smile and nodded her assent. She kept her eyes straight-forward the entire way down the aisle, not daring to look into the congregation. Sooner than she anticipated, she was standing at the altar, her hand clasped in Jake’s.

“Do you, Jake, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others until death do you part?

Jake gazed lovingly into Addison’s eyes. “I do,” he said with a soft smile.

“And Addison, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others until death do you part?

Silence. Addison held Jake’s gaze and stared deep into his green orbs. Her chest was tight, her heart was racing, and her mind was going a mile a minute. Just say yes. All you have to say is I do. Just nod and say I do. Very simple phrase, people say it everyday.

“Addison?” The priest asked gently. She turned her wide-eyed gaze toward him, but still she couldn’t get any words out.

“Addie?” Jake questioned softly, reaching out to stroke her cheek. She turned and once again met his eyes. Now in addition to love, she also saw fear and uncertainty in his depths. He smiled and nodded at her. “It’s alright. Take your time.”

“I-”

He’s so handsome. So perfect. You could be happy with him. Just say yes. I do. Say it. Say IT. SAY IT!!!

“Go on, Father. Continue with the ceremony,” Madeline instructed from her seat.

“I can’t until she answers,” he replied.

“Well, she means yes,” she snapped.

“Well, she’s got to say yes,” was the quick reply.

“Addison, speak up,” Madeline hissed.

“I-”

Jake grinned at her and nodded eagerly for her to continue.

“I….I” Addison could hear her pulse pounding in her ears, her breath coming in short gasps. The congregation started to murmur amongst themselves. She glanced over to her mother who was mouthing “I do” over and over, her father sitting stoically by her side. Her eyes then caught Nancy’s sympathetic gaze and Bailey’s all-knowing one. Her eyes frantically searched until she found what she was looking for. As soon as their gaze locked she knew deep in her bones that she couldn’t go through with it. She gave him a slight nod and then turned back to Jake and stroked his cheek while a smile teased her lips. Tears began to spill from her eyes as she finally spoke. “I’m so sorry Jake.”

His eyes clouded over with confusion and pain, “Wha- What do you mean?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t.”

“What? But Addison,” he cried, reaching for her.

She backed out of his grasp. “I’m sorry. I just…I can’t. I can’t do this.”

“Addie, please,” he pleaded, moisture gathering in his eyes as well.

She continued backing up, tears flowing faster now. “I am so sorry. I never meant for you to get hurt. But I…we…I can’t.

“What about me?” cried a voice from behind her. Addison spun around and locked on his crystal blue eyes as he came up the aisle toward her. The congregation began to murmur loudly amongst themselves. “I love you, and I know you love me. I need you, Addie, like I need air to breathe. Yes, we can live without each other, but I think we’ll both agree that that existence sucks. Your smirk makes my day and an arch of your eyebrow makes me weak. No other woman in the world makes me feel the way you do or drives me as crazy as you can. And yes we’ll fight and yell and scream at each other, because that’s just who we are, but I can’t wait to make up with you. I love you, Adds. You are still the only woman for me. You’re my first thought when I wake up, and my last thought before I sleep.” He grinned. “I still want to be the one you’re cursing as you give birth to our children.” She laughed as she remembered his proposal from so many years before. So, Addison Forbes Montgomery do you take this idiot to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold from this day forward for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part?”

She gave him a watery smile. “I do,” she stated clearly over the commotion.

“There!” Madeline exclaimed. “She said it. She said I do! You all heard it.”

“Yes, but who was she talking to?” the priest inquired.

“Addison?” Jake asked hesitantly.

She turned to look at him. “I’m sorry Jake, but I can’t marry you. I’m in love with Derek.” Addison removed his ring from her finger and held it out to him.

“I know,” he sighed, “I just hoped that maybe you loved me more.” He looked between the two of them then leaned in to kiss her cheek and she pressed the ring into his hand. “I wish you both a lifetime of happiness, but if you ever need me I’ll be there in an instant.”

She nodded and whispered her thanks. She watched him walk away then turned her attention back to Derek. She held out her hand to him and smiled, “Let’s get married.”

He grinned and joined her at the altar.

“Alright, well, let’s try this again,” the priest began. “And we’ll start with you this time. Addison, do you take…What’s your name, son?”

“Derek Shepherd.”

“Alright. Addison, do you take Derek to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others until death do you part?

“I do,” she answered without hesitation.

“And Derek do you take Addison to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others until death do you part?

“I do,” he replied with a smile.

“I don’t suppose you have rings do you?”

Addison shook her head, while Derek nodded. “Actually, I do.” Addison watched as he pulled a characteristic blue box from his pocket, and gasped when he opened it to reveal a flawless 8-carat emerald-cut diamond in a platinum setting with diamonds embedded in the band and a matching wedding band, in addition to a platinum band for him.

“Derek-”

“Shh. You deserve the best,” he said with a wink as they exchanged rings.

“Can anyone here show just cause why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony? Let them speak now or forever hold their peace.”

Madeline immediately jumped to her feet, but before she could open her mouth, Thomas spoke: “Sit down, Madeline.” She turned to look at him. “Now,” he said with quiet force. She reluctantly returned to her seat.

“Then by the power invested in me I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now—okay, yeah go ahead.” The congregation laughed as Derek didn’t even wait for the priest to finish before gathering Addison in his arms and bending her back.

Addison laughed as he brought her back upright. “I love you, Derek.”

“I love you, too.”

*************************************************

The reception was in full swing, the liquor was flowing, food was abundant, and everyone was having a good time. And of course everyone was telling the videographer how they knew it was only a matter of time before Addison and Derek were DerekandAddison again.

Miranda Bailey was busy collecting her money from the other women, stating she might was well do a little shopping since she was in LA. Addison and Derek were making the rounds talking with the guests and accepting congratulations. They paused when they reached Addison’s parents. Madeline appeared to be deep into a bottle of vodka, and looked up at them through blurry eyes. “Had I know you were going to repeat your past mistakes, I would not have attended this fiasco.”

“Addison has to make the decisions that are right for her,” Thomas replied, standing to embrace his daughter. “I just want you to be happy, Princess.”

Addison grinned at Derek then looked back at her father, “I am happy, Daddy.”

Thomas turned and extended his hand to Derek. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Thomas nodded then tightened his grip on Derek’s hand and yanked him closer to whisper in his ear. “You hurt her again and I can guarantee they’ll never find any part of your body.”

Derek nodded. “Understood, sir, but that won’t be a problem.” He wrapped his arm around Addison’s waist. “I don’t make the same mistake twice.”

*************************************************

Addison and Derek sat at the head table, drinking their champagne and looking out over their guests. Addison felt Derek looking at her and she blushed. “What?”

“I just can’t believe that you agreed to be my wife again. Thank you, Addison. Thank you for trusting me with your heart again.”

Addison smiled, “I love you, Derek. I wouldn’t be happy any other way.”

He grinned softly. “Do you remember our wedding song?”

“Of course, ‘Always and Forever’ by Luther Vandross.”

“I think our second choice is more appropriate this time, don’t you think?”

Addison smiled as the first few bars of “Now and Forever” by Richard Marx began to play. “I think I’d have to agree with you.”

Derek stood and bowed to her. “May I have this dance Dr. Shepherd?”

“That’s Mrs. Shepherd to you,” Addison smirked. “And I’d be delighted.”

Whenever I’m weary
From the battles that raged in my head
You made sense of madness
When my sanity hangs by a thread
I lose my way, but still you
Seem to understand
Now & forever,
I will be your man

Sometimes I just hold you
Too caught up in me to see
I’m holding a fortune
That heaven has given to me
Ill try to show you
Each and every way I can
Now & forever,
I will be your man

Now I can rest my worries
And always be sure
That I wont be alone, anymore
If Id only known you were there
All the time,
All this time. . .

Until the day the ocean
Doesn’t touch the sand
Now & forever
I will be your man

Derek leaned down and captured her lips in a breathtakingly sweet kiss. “I love you Addison, now and forever.”

“I love you Derek, forever and always.”

FIN

The end!!! It’s over! It took me over a year to finish this how pathetic is that. But it got done, which is what matters right? This is the longest non-school related piece that I have ever written. I hope you guys enjoyed; please review, I want to know what you thought. I think I’ll be doing one shots now (well, as long as I have an audience) so once again review please. Thanks for reading!!

The Wedding Chapter 15: Runaway Bride Part 1

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 02:54:32 GMT

Title: The Wedding
Pairing: Addek
Rating: PG-13

Another year of school done!!! Join me in celebration!

Allllllll-righty then. I just realized that I haven’t updated this fic since January. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn. Bad Drea. LOL! This chapter has been sitting on my computer for months. I just haven’t had time to proof and post it. And now I have a brief reprieve, so I think it’s time. It’s kind of fitting actually, I started this fic on the last day of my second year and I’m finishing it on the last day of my third. So, in case you didn’t catch that, this is the last chapter. I’ve known how this would end since I started; it began with a TV show, so it had to end with one. Coincidentally enough I just saw the episode that inspired me. Well, without any further ado I give you the final chapter of The Wedding. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Per usual I own NOTHING. Unfortunately the characters do not belong to me. Except for Jake and Gwen; they are mine.

“Addison!! Addison, wait!”

Addison turned and saw Derek running toward her. She looked back at her father, “Would you give us a minute, please?”

“Of course,” Thomas kissed her forehead and walked down the hall.

Addison turned back around as Derek skidded to a stop before her, taking in great gulps of air. “You…y-you can’t…”

“I can’t what?”

“You can’t marry him.”

“Excuse me?” Addison’s eyes flared. “Excuse me?! You show up on my wedding day, while I’m in the freaking dress, when I’m ten seconds from walking down the frickin’ aisle to tell me that I can’t marry my fiancé? Seriously?!!”

Having finally caught his breath, he straightens up and looks her in the eye, “Uh, yeah, that was, umm, pretty much the idea.”

“I see and did you have a reason or did you just wake up this morning and say ‘Hey, what can I do to give Addison that final push over the edge?’”

“I told you, Addie, I love you. I’m in love with you. I need you. And I know you are in love with me too, which is why you can’t marry Jake.”

She sank down onto the couch. “Derek, don’t do this to me.”

“I’m sensing some doubts.”

“Of course I have doubts! This marriage thing hasn’t exactly worked well for me in the past.”

“Okay, yes, we had our share of ups and downs, granted more downs than ups in the last few years, but when we’re good…” He knelt down in front of her and brushed a stray stand of hair from her face before continuing. “Addie, when we’re good there’s nothing better. What you have with Jake is nothing compared to what we have.”

She placed her head in her hands. “I have two hundred of my closest friends, family, and colleagues out there waiting for me.” She looked up at him through her fingers. “What am I supposed to do?”

“Well, my car is out front gassed up and ready to go.” He grinned at her. “I told the valet to keep it available since I’d probably be making a quick get-a-away.” Addison laughed. “So what do you say Addison?” He extended his hand. “Are you willing to take another chance?”

She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards her for a scorching kiss. As she pulled away she smiled wickedly at him, “I hope you left the engine running, Shepherd.”

The warm sunlight on her face is what awoke her that morning. She opened her eyes and squinted in the bright light, blinking away the last remnants of the dream. As she shifted slightly she instantly became aware of four things. The first thing was the pounding of her skull. Second was a slightly nauseous feeling. The third was the well-used but sated feeling that rippled out from between her thighs, and fourth was the muscular arm that lay draped across her waist. She gingerly rolled over so that she was facing her bedmate. She could count on her fingers the number of times in their near two decades of sleeping together she had woken up before he did. He was such a light sleeper that his eyes would pop open at the slightest tremor. As she watched him sleep her eyes drifted over his features taking in his dark curls falling over his forehead, his slightly parted lips, and his ski jump nose. She smirked as she reached out a finger and traced its length, grinning when he batted her hand away. Her gaze fell to his lips as she traced them, gasping when he suddenly sucked her finger into his mouth and lightly bit the pad. She looked up and smiled softly as they locked eyes. “Morning.”

“Mm, good morning,” he replied, tracing her cheek. “How did you sleep?”

“Well, the small amount I got,” and here he chuckled, “was very refreshing,” she smirked. “You?”

“Best sleep I’ve had in years,” he said shifting closer. He allowed his hand to trail down her side to her bare hip, gently stroking her soft skin. “Addie,” he paused waiting until she looked up at him. “What does this mean?”

She searched his eyes before opening her mouth to speak. But before any sound could emerge, there was a loud bang at the hotel room door, followed by a lot of yelling. “ADDISON!!”

Addison shot up in bed, cursing all alcohol as she cradled her throbbing head. She slowly turned to see the clock on the bedside table. “Shit!” she yelled tumbling out of bed and grabbing her robe. She raced around the room gathering his scattered clothing and throwing it at him. “You gotta go.”

“Where am I going Addison?” he asked, standing to pull on his boxer briefs.

“I don’t know. You just have to get out of here,” she said frantically running her hands through her mane to tame her sex hair, while simultaneously trying to keep the bile down her throat. There came another bout of pounding at the door. “Hurry up!” she hissed as he pulled on his shirt.

“ADDISON!! What’s taking so long?!!”

“Okay, now what?” Derek asked, now fully dressed.

“Um…get in the bathroom,” she demanded, pushing him that way. “Just get out at the first opportunity, alright.”

“Addie, we need to talk.”

“Yea, later, just get in the bathroom.” As she shut the bathroom door, Addison pulled her robe tighter and let the ladies into the room.

“Jeez, what took you so long?” Nancy demanded as she barged in past Addison.

“Sorry, I had to wait for the room to stop spinning.”

“Oh, sweetie did you not sleep well last night.” Savvy asked from behind her.

“No, I slept fine. Why do you ask?”

“Because your hair is a mess and the bed sheets are all twisted like it was tossed and turned in all night.”

Addison willed her face to stay cool as she turned toward the balcony. “Um, no I slept great. Hey, why don’t we eat breakfast on the balcony.” she said as she ushered the ladies that way, ignoring the questioning looks from Robin and Nancy.

“Uh, yeah, that would be great, but do you think we can wait for the food to arrive first?” Kathleen asked cheekily.

“Oh…right.” Addison mumbled.

“Oooh, someone’s got a case of wedding day jitters,” Julie teased.

“Don’t know why. It’s not like it’s her first time at the rodeo.” Nancy said, walking over to the bar.

“Okay, well, we all know how well that turned out.”

“Hello! I’m sitting right here,” she said with a huff.

“Ya, we know,” Nancy replied, making her way toward the bathroom.

“Where are you going?” Addison asked nervously.

“To the bathroom,” Nancy said with a quizzical look.

“For what?”

“What, do you want like a number?”

Addison closed her eyes, “No, it’s just that I have all my stuff scattered in there and…”

“Relax, Addie. Your wedding isn’t until sunset; I’m not going to take that long.” She disappeared into the bathroom.

Callie nodded. “Yea, Addison you have got to calm dow-”

“AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!”

Addison closed her eyes as the other women rushed to the bathroom door. “Nancy? Nancy, what’s wrong?” Kathleen demanded.

“Um, n-nothing. It’s…it’s just you should see the size of this tub. You could fit six people in here.”

The ladies rolled their eyes and returned to their respective seats. “Jeez, Nance, give us a heart attack, why don’t ya.” Sam breathed out.

Nancy emerged from the bathroom just as there was a knock on the door announcing the arrival of breakfast. “Great, I’m starved.”

Julie got up, “Let’s see what’s so amazing about this bathroom. Nancy laid her hand on the handle, “You might want to wait a few minutes.”

“Oh, eww, Nance. Gross.” Julie turned away in disgust.

Addison looked up to see Nancy staring at her. “I know you said your “stuff” was in there but that wasn’t exactly what I was expecting,” she whispered. “You owe me.” Addison nodded mutely. Nancy threw her arm around the red-head’s shoulders, “Come on, let’s join the ladies out on the balcony and give your “stuff” a chance to escape.”

*************************************************

“Addison, stop frowning, you’re going to get wrinkles. What is your problem?” Madeline demanded.

“Nothing, Mother.” Addison shook herself out of her reverie and smiled slightly, before returning her attention to the manicurist.

“She’s probably thinking about tonight,” Callie said with a wink.

“If she was I would hope that she wouldn’t be frowning,” Kathleen quipped.

Addison looked around at her extended family, each in various stages of preparation. Callie, Robin, and Miranda were having the finishing touches put on their hair; Nancy, Kathleen, and Julie were getting pedicures; Savvy was getting a manicure; and Gwen, Madeline, and Samantha were having their makeup done.

“Having met Jake, I’m sure they have no problem in that area,” Julie remarked. Addison begged to differ, but she kept that information to herself. Jake was good in bed, but comparatively…

“Regardless, she should be focusing on getting ready for the children.” Madeline intoned. The room went so quiet that you could have heard a pin drop.

“Children?” Sam asked.

“Girl, are you knocked up?!!” Robin shrieked.

“NO! No, no, no I am not pregnant.” Addison insisted.

“Not yet, anyway.” Madeline added.

“Mother!”

“What? You are obviously not getting any younger and neither am I for that matter. So I’m glad to see that you have finally settled in a nice stable relationship with a man you care for.” Addison bristled at the term “settled.” Addison Forbes Montgomery doesn’t settle for anything…right?

“You have finally found your proper mate, a man that matches you in both class and sophistication, one who will raise my grandchildren properly.” She took a sip of her martini and glanced over at Gwen. “Oh, no offense intended of course.”

“Of course not.” Gwen graciously replied, through clenched teeth.

Addison stood as the manicurist finished with her nails. “I think I’m going to go for a walk along the beach,” she announced to the room.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Savvy asked.

“No, I’ll be fine. I just need a few minutes.”

“Just don’t ruin your nails,” Madeline called after her.

*************************************************

Addison stood on the beach and watched the waves crash upon the shore. The wind tossed her hair and caused her sundress to billow out behind her. She thought over the ramblings of her mother, particularly the bit about her settling. That point really seemed to strike a chord with her. Am I settling?

“I figured I’d find you here.”

She didn’t turn at the voice. There was no need; she knew it as well as her own. Plus she had been having that oh-so-familiar tingle down her spine for the last five minutes. “Congratulations.”

He stepped up beside her. “It’s really beautiful out here.”

“I know. That’s why I picked it.”

“You always had excellent taste.” He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. “That’s why I always wondered why you picked me.”

“You were hot, smart, and made me laugh. Plus I was in love with you.”

He turned to face her. “And now?”

She kept her eyes front but bit her lip, her one sure tell. “I don’t know.”

He stepped closer. “I think you do. You did last night.”

“I was drunk last night.”

He paused. “Are you saying it was a mistake? Do you regret being with me?”

She could hear the uncertainty in his voice and for the first time turned to face him. “No, Derek, I don’t regret making love to you. I just,” she turned her gaze back to the water and so missed the smirk that spread across his face. “I don’t know what I’m doing here Derek. I don’t…I don’t want to hurt Jake, but I don’t want to hurt you either. I just want to be happy, but I don’t want to settle. I love Jake; he’s kind, successful, great with kids, and absolutely adores me. I’m comfortable with him and he’s incredibly sweet…He’s actually the perfect guy.”

“I’m hoping that there is a “but” in here somewhere.”

“But it’s not enough. It lacks the passion that I’m used to, that I need for a successful relationship.” She hesitated. What have I got to lose? She turned to look him in the eye. “I miss you. I miss talking to you, fighting with you, making love to you. I miss—What? What is with the smirk?”

He grinned. “That’s the second time in less than five minutes that you’ve said ‘making love.’”

Addison rolled her eyes. “Okay, can we focus please?” He nodded. “So, the bottom line is: Yes, I am in love with you.”

He smiled and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him. “Addie, I love you so much.” He leaned in and captured her lips in a sweet kiss. As he pulled away he rested his forehead against hers. “I promise to do everything in my power make you happy--”

“Derek-”

“And I’ll move to LA since there’s nothing left for me in Seattle--”

“Derek!”

“You don’t want to stay in LA? I just assumed, but we can go wherever you want--”

“DEREK!!” He finally stopped and focused back on her. “The fact that we love each other doesn’t necessarily mean that we can sustain a relationship. I mean, we loved each other before and look where that got us. We destroyed each other. We both committed unforgivable acts. I trusted you with my heart and you broke it into a million pieces. No one can hurt me like you can. I can’t go through that again.”

“Addison, just give me a chance. I know that we both made terrible mistakes, but we’ve learned from them; we’re not going to repeat the past. I’ll never hurt you like that again and I know that you can say the same. We are meant to be together Addie. You can’t just walk away from this.”

She backed away from him. “I can’t deal with this.”

Derek reached for her, “Addison-”

“No, I can’t. I’m sorry, I just…I can’t.”

*************************************************

Suspicions

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 19:33:55 GMT

Title: Suspicions
Rating: PG-13 (adult themes, brief language)
Pairing: Read and see

So, I've been listening the the Tim McGraw song "Suspicions" on repeat and this is the result. Click and enjoy.

Okay, so I just finished another rotation and I’m celebrating with a fic. Of course I could finish the one I’ve been working on, but nah. So, have you all heard “Suspicions” by Tim McGraw? Awesome song! It’s on YouTube or CMT.com. It was my inspiration. I knocked this out really quickly, so not my best but I like it.

Disclaimer: Own nothing, have nothing.

His crystal blue eyes followed her around the room as she prepared to go out. She was freshly showered; her long red hair flowed behind her shoulders still slightly damp. She had just pulled on a black lace bra and panty set that he couldn’t remember having seen before. It immediately drew his eyes to her curves, and he gazed appreciatively at her form taking in all that was his, only stopping when he came to her black four inch stiletto-clad heels, which put all sorts of naughty thoughts in his head. He smirked and looked back up her impossibly long legs to her lingerie set that left very little to the imagination. “That’s nice. Is it new?”

“Hmm?” she answered distractedly. “Oh, yeah. I just got it.”

“You bought new lingerie just to go out with the girls,” he asked with a raised eyebrow. “Just how close are you guys?”

“Shut up,” she replied rolling her eyes. She pointed to her hair. “What do you think? Curly or straight?”

He tilted his head, pretending to consider. “I think,” he grabbed her hand pulling her onto the bed before rolling on top of her, “that you should forget about your hair, forget about girls night out and stay here with me.” He then proceeded to kiss her effectively silencing her giggles.

“Mmm,” she moaned when he moved to her neck. That sounds quite appealing.”

“I thought so,” was the muffled reply.

“But,” she pushed at his shoulders. “I promised the girls.”

“Addison,” he groaned.

“Keith,” she replied in the same tone.

He sighed and rolled over allowing her to get up. Staring at the ceiling, he listened to her blow-dry her hair and begin her make-up ritual. As he fingered the comforter underneath him he couldn’t help but feel that their relationship had changed since they moved to Seattle. She seemed more distant. She was still the gorgeous, intelligent, funny woman he had fallen in love with, but there was something off about their relationship. Something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. “Hey, Addie?”

“Yea, babe?” she stuck her head out of the bathroom.

“Are you happy?”

She blinked. “Of course I am. I have a great job, a fantastic home, and a man I’m in love with. What more do I need?” and with a wink she disappeared back into the bathroom.

He grinned pleased with her answer. “Hey Addie, how about dinner on Friday night? Just the two of us. We’ll go out to that fancy Chinese place you’re always raving about.”

“Oh,” she shook her head as she struggled to zip up her dress. “You know, I go there so much, why don’t we do that French place you love?

“But,” he slapped her hands away and finished zipping her up himself, “you never pass up Chinese food. You love Chinese food.”

“Well,” she checked herself in the mirror, then grabbed her purse before turning back to him. “I love you more. See ya later, babe.” And with a quick peck on his cheek she was out the door.

With a sigh, Keith allowed himself to fall back on the bed. Sometimes he wished they had stayed in LA.

10 months earlier

“Addie!! Addie?!! ADDISON?!! Where are you?” Keith yelled running up the stairs.

“I’m in the kitchen,” her voice floated up to him. He turned and ran back down the stairs, bounding into the kitchen with the biggest grin on his face. “Stop chopping those vegetables, ‘cause I’m taking you out tonight!!”

She turned, smiling at his exuberance. “What’s going on?” she asked, wiping her hands on a towel.

“It happened. It finally happened!”

“Babe, slow down. What happened?”

He picked up his live-in girlfriend of six months and spun her around. “I’ve been promoted to head of the advertising department!!”

“Oh Keith, that’s fantastic,” she squealed, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“There’s just one thing,” he said as they calmed down. “The job? It’s not here. It’s…it’s in Seattle.”

He watched the breath catch in her throat. “What?” she whispered.

“It’s in Seattle.”

“So, you’re moving.”

“Yea, I am.” He moved to grab her hands, “But only if you’ll come with me.”

“Keith-”

“Think about it Addie. This could be a great opportunity for both of us. You’ve said how much you miss operating everyday. The rush you get from making that first cut. And from the way Richard was talking at Thanksgiving, I’m sure he’d give you a job in a heart beat.” He watched her bite her lip, the way she always did when she was concentrating. “Come on, Addie. It’ll be great.”

She looked up at him and stared into his eyes for a few long moments, before slowly nodding her head. “Okay.”

“Okay?” He repeated with a grin.

“Okay,” she confirmed with a smile.

He grabbed her and pulled her close. “I love you,” he whispered, kissing her gently.

“I love you, too.”

Within a matter of weeks they were walking hand in hand into Seattle Grace hospital. He gave her hand a quick squeeze when he felt her tense as they walked through the front door. “You okay?

She turned to him and gave a weak smile. “Yea, I’m fine. Let’s go find Richard.”

Richard was of course overjoyed to have Addison back on his staff, and showed it in the huge hug he gave her and the hearty handshake Keith received. “It’s so good to have you back.

“Well, it’s good to be back.”

“Alright, let’s go introduce you to your staff. There have been a few changes in the last three years.”

The group exited the office, but stopped when someone called her name. “Addison?” the voice inquired. Keith watched confused as Addison took a deep breath before turning around. “Hello, Derek,” she greeted.

Keith watched as a man his mother would describe as “tall, dark, and handsome” made his way towards them. “Wha- What are you doing here?”

“I work here now.” She gave a slight shrug and nodded to Richard, “He made me an offer I couldn’t refuse,” she added, in a questionable Italian accent. The man smirked, but before he could reply another voice caught his attention.

“Derek!!” They all turned, and Keith watched a waifish blonde who looked like she could use a sandwich or ten, walk up and stand next to Derek. “Where have you been? I’ve been paging you for the last hour.”

“I’m sorry Mer, I’ve been trying to remove a tumor from Mr. Johnson’s cerebellum for the last 3 hours.” Derek sighed.

Meredith huffed and went to retort when she noticed the group gathered around. “Dr. Montgomery?” She blinked, “What are you doing here?”

“She works here now.” Richard answered.

Keith could feel the tension in the group and felt that he was missing something. He grabbed Addison’s hand to remind her of his presence. “Oh, Keith, I’m so sorry. Keith Walker, meet Derek Shepherd and Meredith Grey.”

“It’s Shepherd now, actually,” Meredith corrected removing her hand from her jacket to show off her ring. “We got married six months ago.”

Keith tried not to wince as Addison’s grip on his hand tightened considerably. “Oh, well, um, congratulations. To-to both of you. That’s…it’s…You deserve to be happy,” she finished with a smile.

Richard broke the awkward silence by clearing his throat. “Well, shall we continue with the tour?” Addison nodded and followed as Richard walked away.

“It was nice to meet you,” Keith said shaking Derek’s hand and nodding at Meredith as he turned to follow.

As they went further down the hall, Richard began to apologize. “I’m sorry, Addie, but we didn’t know how to tell you…”

“It’s okay, Richard. I’m not really that surprised I was just caught off guard. I really am glad that he’s happy, because I am too.” She grabbed Keith’s hand and flashed him a dazzling smile before looking back at Richard. “Now, let’s go see my new NICU.”

The meeting of the NICU team was uneventful; it was on the way back that Keith had a rather unnerving experience. Another voice called Addison’s name but this one was much deeper and had a gruff quality to it. As Keith eyed the owner of the voice he revised his earlier characterization. THIS is the guy his mother would call “tall, dark, and handsome”. Keith watched as the guy wrapped his girlfriend in a tight hug lifting her off the ground. His eyes narrowed however when his hands slipped much too low on her backside. Addison rolled her eyes as she stepped back and slapped him playfully on the chest. “Did you miss me?” she asked.

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” he replied with an intimate smile. As Addison smirked at the stranger, Keith moved closer to her putting an arm around her waist and clearing his throat. Addison turned to him with a smile. “Keith, this is Mark Sloan. Mark, this is Keith Walker, my boyfriend.

“Boyfriend, huh? You’re a lucky man my friend.” Mark stated as the men shook hands.

“And I know it,” Keith replied pulling Addison closer. Just then his phone began vibrating in his pocket, “Would you excuse me a moment, please?” As he took his call, he watched the body language between the two. It was obvious they had been intimate, and he very much disliked the way this guy was leering at his girl. He quickly ended his call and walked back over to the two.

“—Are you two serious?”

“Yes, Mark. We are.”

He took another appreciative glance. “Shame,” he said with a wink.

“Oh, would you get over yourself,” she cried playfully pushing him away, her eyes sparkling as she looked back over at Keith. “Hey, everything okay?”

“Yea, you ready?”

“Yea, let’s go. See ya around Mark.”

“Looking forward to it. Nice meeting you Kevin.”

“It’s Keith.”

“Oh, right. Sorry, man.”

It took a few weeks but they eventually settled into their new routine. Addison was happier than he had ever seen her. Of course her hours were crazier than they had ever been, but it seemed being in the hospital brought new life to her. She had reconnected with her old friends and he had gotten to know Callie and Miranda quite well. She also went out with her fellow attendings as well. He didn’t mind when she hung out with Preston or Derek, after all they were both married, but that Sloan guy worried him. He was just a bit too friendly.

He had been a little surprised when she started hanging out with Derek though. With all the tension that had been present when he met him, he assumed she would want to stay far away from Shepherd. But they had decided to repair their friendship in an effort to have a “good working relationship”, as she put it. So now it wasn’t that uncommon for him to walk into his den and see Addie, Mark, and Derek lying around having a Godfather marathon or whatever chick-flick Addison wanted to watch, eating Chinese food. That was the scenario that he was comfortable with, but every so often he would walk in to find just Mark and Addison. They wouldn’t be doing anything inappropriate, but it just made him uncomfortable. Then it seemed she started coming home less and less. And she spent a lot more time texting on her phone and having whispered conversations. Girls night out became a weekly ritual. Their sex life began to dwindle. When he mentioned it to her she apologized, stating that she was still trying to adjust to the schedule. Then there were all the little things. Like when he went to meet her for lunch and found her sitting at a table with Mark. (They have to eat.) Or when he picked her up at the end of the day and she came out an on call room very disheveled. (She was taking a nap.) There was also the time when she had the bruises on her hips. She told him she had banged into a desk; he chose to believe her. (He also conveniently chose to ignore the fact that there were five separate bruises in a 4+1 pattern on BOTH hips.) But then there was that week of awesome sex. That week he saw neither hide nor hair of Mark Sloan. From what he could gather from her angry mutterings she had had a fight with Derek and Mark had taken his side, so now she was angry with them both. That glorious week had produced the best sex of their relationship. They were in her favorite position, her face pressed into her pillow muffling her voice as he moved above her. She was moaning in pleasure over and over although he got the distinct feeling the name she said sounded like it ended with a k instead of begun with it; she wasn’t exactly enunciating so he couldn’t be sure. Instead he made it his mission to make her come harder than he ever had before. Afterwards, as she cuddled into his chest and whispered I love you, he felt they were finally getting back to who they were Pre-Seattle. He pulled her closer and began to breathe easier.

That Saturday he had walked into his den to find Mark Sloan reclining in his fucking favorite chair with Addison and Derek sharing the couch; they were all drinking hot chocolate and watching Love, Actually. It seems they had made up and Addison was in a better mood than ever. She said they were all best friends again; it was just like it was in New York. Keith had heard the stories from Addie; he knew exactly what “just like back in New York” meant. That meant Mark moving in on the girl while the oblivious husband (or in this case boyfriend) had no clue what was going on. He’d be damned before he let that happen.

Keith was startled out of his memories when he heard the bedroom door slowly creak open. A quick glance at the clock told him it was 4:30 in the morning. Addison stealthily crept in carrying her heels in her hand, creeping toward the bathroom. He sat up in bed and flicked on the lamp on his bedside table bathing the room in light and giving Addison the appearance of a deer caught in headlights. “Hey,” he greeted.

“Hey,” she returned softly. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s alright. How was girls night out?”

“Great. We closed down the bar.” She shifted on the balls of her feet.

“I glad you had a good time.” (He chose not to mention the fact that the bars they frequented closed at 2, leaving a two-and-a half hour gap in her story.) “You coming to bed?”

“Yea, in a second. I just want to rinse this smoke smell off of me and out of my hair.” With that, she continued into the bathroom and began what he knew would be a long hot shower. He sighed and flopped back to the bed. He fell asleep waiting for her to get out.

The next morning he woke up cuddled next to a note. It seemed Mrs. Salinas was having an emergency C-section. He sighed and scrubbed the sleep from his eyes before trudging to the bathroom. As he washed his face he spied her dress from last night hanging on the back of the door. He walked over and let the soft material slip through his fingers, before bringing it up to his face and nose. He cuddled the dress close to him, just trying to feel closer to her. As he inhaled deeply, he could detect traces of Chanel and the sweet fragrance that was distinctly Addison, but there was something else. Something that was definitely not smoke. The dress reeked of male cologne and while it was not his scent it was one with which he had become familiar. He dropped the offending article of clothing as if it had burned him. He shook his head and wandered back into the bedroom, going about his morning routine. He struggled to put his watch on as his hands were shaking with rage. He cursed as the time piece dropped onto the floor and under the bed. As he bent down to retrieve it something else caught his eye. Gathering that as well he straightened up to have a better look. And he felt his blood begin to boil. He grabbed his wallet, keys, and phone and raced out the door.

Keith stormed onto the surgical floor and quickly found the person he was looking for. He marched up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. “Is there some place we can talk?” Mark nodded and led the way to the Physician’s lounge. “I think it’s best we discuss this in private to prevent Addie any undue embarrassment.” Mark once again nodded and folded his arms over his chest, waiting to hear what the man had to say. Keith took a deep breath, then drew his hand back and punched Mark in the face as hard as he could. “You may have had something with Addie in the past, but she is mine now. You are no longer welcome in my house and keep your fucking hands off of her. I suggest that you don’t talk to her unless it’s surgical in nature. I am NOT Derek Shepherd. You touch her and I will hurt you.” He turned to walk away, “Oh and I believe these belong to you,” he said slamming the cufflinks down on the counter and the door behind him.

Mark looked down at the shiny items and smirked. He picked them up and sauntered over to Addison’s office. He knocked on the door and softly spoke, “It’s me,” through the wood. He heard shuffling and creaking and the flip of the lock before the door opened just enough to allow him to slip in. “He’s on to us.”

“What are you talking about?” Addison asked as she strolled back over to the couch. “And what happened to your eye?”

“What happened to my eye you ask? Your boyfriend happened!” He huffed and gingerly touched his eye as he examined himself in the mirror. He glanced at the reflection of the couch in the glass. “You know getting hit by you was one thing, but this time I’m actually innocent!”

“Well, you could just think of it as karmic retribution for something else you’ve done,” the other figure on the couch smirked. Addison giggled and leaned back into his chest.

“I’m glad you two find this so amusing. You know I had a date tonight.”

“Oh, it’s not even bleeding. Just put some ice on it, you’ll be fine.” Addison remarked, rolling her eyes.

“Didn’t even draw blood, huh? You know he needed stitches when I hit him.” He nuzzled her neck and began slipping his hand under her shirt. “Your guy’s kind of a wuss.”

“Shut up,” she retorted, albeit slightly breathlessly.

“Hey!” Mark turned around and looked at the pair. “You do realize that I’m still here right?”

“Yea, we know. Get out,” came the annoyed reply, with Addison nodding her agreement.

“Fine, I’m going. Oh and Keith wanted to return these, he thought they were mine.” He tossed the cufflinks that Derek easily caught. “You really need to stop leaving stuff for other people to find.”

Fin

This is what happens when you spend your weekend watching CMT. I’m not even like a huge country fan but there are some good songs out right now. And who doesn’t drool over Tim McGraw. Okay, so I have been thinking about a Maddison fic, obviously this wasn’t it, but it could be coming. And I will finish the other one, for anyone who still cares. Alright, so now you can review. C’mon on people, make me happy!! ;-D

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 23:59:51 GMT

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Yeah, pretty much.

Chapter 14 B: Kidnappings

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 22:46:12 GMT

A little while later, the ladies pulled up to their destination. “Alrighty we’re here!!” Kathleen exclaimed.

“Great,” Addison said sarcastically. “Where exactly is here?” she asked, reaching up to take down her blindfold.

Her hand was slapped back down. “Would you just wait a second? Jeez, you’re so inpatient.” She felt hands on her back pushing her forward, “Just wait until we get inside.”

“Fine, just don’t run me into any walls-OW!!” Addie exclaimed as her right shoulder slammed into the door frame.

“Sorry,” Nancy giggled behind her. “Okay, there are five steps to go down, grab onto the rail.”

Addison made her way down the stairs then felt herself being pulled forward. She heard running water somewhere around her and the sounds of low-key conversations. Her hand was then dropped and she could detect whispering behind her. “Guys?” she questioned.

“Alright, we’ll take the blindfold off on the count of three. One, Two, THREE!!”

“SURPRISE!!!” everyone yelled.

Addison grinned from ear to ear when she saw that she was surrounded by her best friends. In addition to the Shepherd sisters were Callie, Miranda, Savvy, and Robin. After hugs and greetings were exchanged, Addison took a moment to take in her surroundings. “Wow,” she breathed.

She was standing in one of the most beautiful spas she had ever seen. There was a waterway surrounding the lobby fed by a towering waterfall in the corner. There were lush green plants and trees everywhere you turned with tropical flowers interspersed among them. It made one think they were in a Costa Rican rainforest, rather than a man-made spa. “This is gorgeous,” Addison said trying to take it all in, “It’s almost too much.”

“Someone felt you were worth this,” Kathleen said quietly from her shoulder.

“So since we’re here, let’s go get a massage,” Robin said brightly, linking her arm through Addison’s before she could really think about that comment. Her eyes narrowed as she watched a very muscular and unbelievably attractive masseuse walk by. “I have a few areas I’d love for him to touch.” Addison laughed as she allowed herself to be dragged off.

Callie leaned over to Miranda, “Not that I’m looking a gift horse in the mouth, but who is fitting the bill for all this?”

Bailey just stared at her with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh,” Callie’s eyes lit up as everything clicked into place. She thought for a minute and then smirked, “In that case, I’m getting the premier package.”

“That was my plan,” Bailey replied.

It seemed that was everyone’s plan. Each lady had a mani, pedi, facial, one-hour massage, wrap, a soak in the Jacuzzi, and time in the steam room. By the time dinner rolled around the group was completely relaxed. They all sat around the table joking, enjoying their sushi dinner and never-ending cups of sake.

“So, Addison,” Kathleen began, reaching for a piece of fried calamari, “Tell us about Jake.”

The conversation stopped as all eyes turned towards Addison. Addie wiped her mouth and cleared her throat. She glanced down into her lap as she fidgeted with her napkin. “What do you want to know?”

“Everything. All we know is the man’s name, and what we’ve learned from Ma,” Sam said.

“Well, Jake’s a corporate lawyer with a firm here in LA. He’s very successful, he graduated at the top of his class from Harvard Law, and he works not only out of LA, but Manhattan, Chicago, and Dallas as well.”

The ladies just stared at her expectantly.

“What?” Addie asked. “What else do you want to know?”

“How about something that we couldn’t read off his résumé?” Nancy jumped in. “Addie you sound as though you’re describing a colleague, not your fiancé.”

“Well,” she lightly bit her lip and nervously twisted her engagement ring around, “He’s 6’4”…muscular…wants kids… he’s so sweet, incredibly kind…would never hurt me…and he loves me,” she finished quietly, downing the rest of her sake.

The ladies all exchanged glances, each one picking up on what wasn’t said. “Addison,” Nancy began gently, almost hesitantly, reaching across to lay her hand over Addie’s, “Do you love Jake?”

Addison’s head jerked up. “Who wouldn’t love Jake? He is literally the perfect guy. He’s a good provider, incredibly attractive, and he would do anything for me. He never forgets dates, never leaves me sitting alone, and he doesn’t make me cry.” The words exploded from her mouth, her arms waving to emphasize her point. “We hardly ever argue and when we do we never raise our voices! He doesn’t send his best friend to events in his place. He doesn’t make me want to scream and pull my hair out by the roots. HE IS PERFECT! A woman would have to be crazy to not be in love with him.” Her eyes lost focus and her voice dropped, “She’d have to be insane to want someone else…to crave someone else…” Her eyes slid shut, “To love someone else,” she whispered. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes, “And I am perfectly logical.” She signaled the waiter for a refill on her drink, “Jake and I will be very happy together.”

Everyone sat stunned in the wake of her outburst. She had shocked even Bailey into silence. Addison smoothly slid her chair back and placed her napkin on the table. “Excuse me,” she stated as she made her way to the ladies’ room.

“Does she really not see it?” Callie asked quietly, once she was out of earshot.

“Oh, she knows…” Nancy began.

“…She’s just fighting it with everything she’s worth.” Bailey finished.

Savvy jumped up and followed her friend to the restroom. The seven women watched her go, then sat in silence for a moment.

“Twenty bucks says she bails by the end of the night,” Nancy smirked.

“I say she’ll wait ‘til morning.” Callie added.

“Thirty says she doesn’t make it though the “I do’s,” Robin bid.

“Fifty says Derek makes a scene.” Kathleen said with a gleam in her eye.

“Do you know something?” Sam asked.

“I know my baby brother,” was the reply.

“Seventy-five says she runs,” Julie stated.

But Bailey shook her head at them all. “One hundred dollars says that by this time tomorrow she will once again be Addison Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd.”

*************************************************

When Savvy walked in she found her friend leaning over the sink, taking deep calming breaths. “Good air in, bad air out,” Sav said quietly.

Addison jumped at the voice and caught her eye in the mirror, giving her a weak smile. “That’s the idea.”

“Addie, we…we didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I know. I’m sorry for yelling at you guys, I’m just…” Addie sighed, “I don’t know what I am.”

“I know Addie. But I also know that you’ll do the right thing. You always do.”

Addison looked up at her through her lashes, “Not always.”

Savvy sighed, “Addie, Derek’s forgiven you. Are you ever going to forgive yourself for that?”

“I have, I’m just…” Addie buried her face in her hands and muffled her scream.

Savvy walked over to her and wrapped her arms around her shoulders. “I know, sweetie.” She held Addie while she put herself back together. “Hey, come on, it’ll all be okay. In the mean time you have presents to open,” Savvy said with a grin.

Addison managed a watery smile. “I could never forget about presents.”

*************************************************

After Addison repaired her face with went out to join the ladies who were laughing hysterically about something. “What’s so funny?” Addison inquired, a slight smile on her face.

“Nothing,” they replied in unison.

“Let’s get to the gifts,” Nancy suggested, quickly changing the subject.

Soon Addie found herself surrounded by the traditional gifts; in addition to lingerie, she had the Kama Sutra, Cosmo’s Water Kama Sutra, edible massage oil, and handcuffs (Robin’s gift. “For when you need to add a little spice,” she said with a wink.) Then she found herself presented with a final box, this one was without a label. “Who is this from,” she asked with a smirk, as she opened the box. No one claimed ownership. She gasped as she lifted the tissue paper to reveal an exquisite green silk robe, with Chinese characters stitched onto the back. “Oh, this is gorgeous,” she breathed. She looked up, “Seriously, who is this from?” she asked as she held the beautiful fabric to her chest. Once again they were all silent. “I love this,” Addison replied softly.

“Hey! Is this a party or not?” Robin said breaking the silence. “There is a batch of margaritas waiting for us and a dance floor with our name on it. Let’s go!”

*************************************************

Around 2 am, Addison stumbled into her hotel suite, laughing as she bid the other ladies goodnight. Addison collapsed on the bed, “I’m really quite drunk.” she giggled to the empty room. She pulled herself up and began undressing, dancing around the room to the imaginary music playing in her head. She had just slipped on the silk robe when there was a knock at the door. She walked over and pulled the door open without checking to see who it was. “Derek!” she giggled. “I’m drunk!”

“I can see that.” Derek smiled. Addison was such a cute drunk.

“Come in, come in. Like my robe? It’s new.” She paused as she closed the door, “I don’t know who sent it though.

“I did.”

“Oh…thanks!” she said brightly, turning towards him.

“You’re welcome,” he chuckled. “Did you read the card?”

“What card?”

“The card at the bottom of the box.”

“I didn’t see it,” she said, walking back over to look into the box. She moved the tissue paper and found the card lying at the bottom. She opened the card and at the top found the same design she saw on her robe. She went on to read the explanation. “Love-forever and always,” she said aloud. She looked up and caught his eye. In her drunken haze her inhibitions were lowered and she allowed herself to see what everyone else had known for months: Her Derek was finally back and was more in love with her now than he had ever been. She could see it all laid out in his eyes: love, hope, passion, desire, and forgiveness. He could see the same reflected in her bright blue orbs.

She gently reached up and stroked his face softly. For the first time in a long time, all of their barriers were down. They were simply Addison and Derek again, no baggage, no mistresses, no demanding jobs, just two people in love. And it was that thought that allowed Addison to stop denying what her body was craving.

“I should really thank you properly,” she purred, her voice dropping low as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Addison…” Derek swallowed hard as she pushed him against the door and pressed her body into his. “What are you doing?”

Addison smirked and raised an eyebrow, “Has it been that long for you Derek? Let me refresh your memory.” She leaned forward and began nibbling his earlobe as her hands eased under his shirt, scratching lightly at his chest.

“Addison,” he groaned, pushing her away slightly, “We can’t do this.”

“Why not? I know you want me,” she leaned in, “I can feel it,” she whispered as her hand found its way inside his jeans, causing him to moan softly.

“Yea, I do…I really do. I want you. I’m in love with you. I want you to be my wife. But I don’t want you to regret us being together, and you’re drunk. We can’t,” he sighed, reluctantly pulling away from her magical hands and taking a step back.

She once again closed the space between them, the fact that he was trying to be noble making her want him more. “Sure we can.”

“Addie-” he tried again.

“Derek,” she gently cradled his face so they were looking eye to eye. “I want this. I need this. My body longs for yours.” She paused and bit her lip, “I love you.” She leaned in to kiss him, but could still sense his hesitancy. “It’s not taking advantage if I ask for it,” she whispered in his ear.

Derek tried to be strong for the both of them, but everything he wanted in the world was being offered to him on a platinum platter. There were probably a million reasons why they shouldn’t do this, but not one of them would come to mind, especially not with her lips and hands roaming his body. As he felt her hands treading lightly at the waistband of his jeans, he stopped fighting it. After all, he was only human. He took control of the embrace as one by one articles of clothing began to drop to the floor.

*************************************************

So, there ya go. An update. I did it. Um, is it just me or does Addie seem slightly unstable. I mean seriously she is the definition of emotionally labile. Well, we’re in the home stretch people. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Wait, is that a good thing to see when you’re sick? Huh, well, while I ponder that: Review please. (I’m not above tugging heart strings, I wrote this through sickness…gimme!! ;-D)

The Wedding Chapter 14 Part A: Kidnappings

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 22:33:57 GMT

Title: The Wedding
Pairing: Addek
Rating: PG-13

So, I don't know if anyone remembers, but I was writing a fic...lol...and here's more.

So, yea…it’s been almost two months since I last updated. Although, I have been writing, I did the Christmas fic, which I’m choosing to mention here ‘cuz it doesn’t make me look as bad. The intention was to have this fic finished by New Year’s and start working on the new one. And, uh…you can see how well that worked out. Life was kicking my ass. It still is, but I needed to write. So, I have a fever of 102.4, and I’m doped up on medications and hot toddies. So, if you don’t like it, I blame illness.

Disclaimer: As usual, I own nothing.

*************************************************

Addison sat silently on her couch; the television was blaring but she wasn’t paying any attention. I’m getting married tomorrow, I should be ecstatic. But what if I’m making a mistake? Am I about to ruin my life and his? Addison sighed and took another sip of her drink. This wedding is turning me into an alcoholic. She got up to refill her drink. This was so much easier last time.

July 1994

ADDISON!!!

She groaned as she heard her name being screamed through her apartment. “That sounds like my sister,” muttered her human pillow.

“That is your sister.” she replied.

“She’s very loud.”

“Yes, she is.”

“Tomorrow she’ll be your sister, too.” At that Addison raised her head and stared into his twinkling blue eyes, returning his smile.

“Yes, she will.”

“ADDISON!! I KNOW YOU’RE HERE!!”

“Why is she yelling?”

“Because she’s Nancy.”

“WHERE ARE THEY?” yelled another voice.

“I DON’T KNOW,” replied a third.

“MAYBE THEY’RE IN THE BEDROOM,” a fourth voice.

“WELL, WOULD SOMEONE CHECK?” Nancy asked.

“NOT ME,” called a fifth voice, “I’VE SEEN ENOUGH OF THEM TO LAST TWO LIFETIMES.”

“OH FOR THE LOVE OF- FINE I’LL DO IT!” With that the door to the bedroom flew open and there stood Nancy, hands on her hips. “It’s okay,” she yelled, “they’re decent.” Derek’s three other sisters, Kathleen, Julie, and Samantha, plus Savvy then appeared in the doorway.

“Oh, good you’re already up.” Kathleen noted.

“Well, it’s pretty hard not to be with all the yelling that was going on.” Derek replied.

“Well, good morning to you too, little brother. What’s wrong, did we interrupt your morning nooky time?”

“No, but you did interrupt cuddle time which has become very important to me since that’s all I’ve gotten for the past six weeks,” Derek growled.

“Derek,” Addison chided. “What are you guys doing here?”

“We’ve come to kidnap you,” Savvy said cheerfully.

“Excuse me?” Addison raised her eyebrows.

“The bride is not allowed to see the groom, nor the groom the bride for twenty-four hours before the wedding. We are here to ensure that you two don’t break the rules.” Nancy replied.

“So, pack your bags ‘cuz you’re being kidnapped,” Julie quipped.

“And make sure you pack something sexy for tonight,” Samantha added with a smirk.

“You’re going to have a bachelorette party that’ll still make you smile when you’re old and senile.” Kathleen said with a wink.

Addison laughed as she made her way to the bathroom. As soon as she was out of earshot, Derek sat up and fixed his sisters with a glare. “Alright, so where are you taking my fiancée?”

“What’s wrong, Derek? Worried that she’ll come to her senses and find someone better?” Nancy cracked.

“No, just trying to figure out if I need to start collecting bail money.”

“Oh, don’t worry, we’ll take good care of your little Addie, and we’ll get her to the church on time.”

“Thank you.”

“Alright, I’m ready.” Addison reappeared a few minutes later, fully dressed and carrying four large, bulging bags.

“Addison, it’s only for one night,” Derek exclaimed.

“Derek, you know me better than that. Plus, I have to get ready for tomorrow.”

“Alright, well, Derek make yourself useful and lug these bags to the car.” Nancy instructed.

At the car, Addison turned to Derek before she got in. “Do you realize that the next time we see each other we’ll be getting married?”

“I do. I can’t wait, so try not to find any guys to run away with tonight, okay?” he grinned.

“Likewise,” she smirked.

“Shut up.” He brushed a few stray strands of hair out of her face before cupping her cheek. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you,” she leaned forward and captured his lips in a kiss, which he deepened almost immediately. Addison smiled against his lips as she raised her arms to run her fingers through his hair. They were startled apart by the loud beeping of the horn.

“Hey, that’s enough of that. You’ll be apart for 24 hours not 24 days. Jeez,” Nancy yelled out the window.

“Alright, I’m coming, keep your panties on,” Addison called back. She turned back to Derek, “See you at the altar. I’ll be the one in the gorgeous dress,” she winked.

“And I’ll be the guy with the huge grin.”

Addison sighed as she sat back on her couch with her refreshed drink. It was much easier the first time.

She was shaken out of her reverie by the insistent ringing of her doorbell. She set her drink down and padded to the foyer, opening her door to reveal a gaggle of smiling faces and piercing blue eyes. “Addie!!!” they cried, and she found herself consumed in a swarm of Shepherds. She smiled uncontrollably as she embraced Nancy, Kathleen, Samantha, Julie, and of course Gwen. She then bent to embrace her fourteen nieces and nephews, before turning to the men crazy enough to marry into the family.

“Come in, come in,” she cried, ushering them all into the den. “It’s so good to see all of you. And you guys have all gotten so big,” she gushed looking at all the kids.

“And you have gotten really thin.” Nancy stated bluntly.

“No, I haven’t,” Addison replied shrugging off the comment.

“Yes, you have.” Gwen stated, eyeing her critically. “Addie, have you been eating?”

“Of course I have. I’ve just been under stress from the wedding, that’s all.”

“Stress, huh? Aren’t weddings supposed to be joyful?” Kathleen surmised aloud.

“They are when you’re marrying the right person,” Nancy muttered.

Addison sighed as Gwen shot her two daughters a look. “Well, we’re here now to make sure the next few days go smoothly and are stress-free. We support you and your decision, don’t we girls?”

“Yes,” they replied reluctantly, dropping their eyes under their mother’s glare.

“Well,” Addison started attempting to break the awkward silence. You guys must be hungry, have you eaten? You guys are earlier than I expected, I was going to meet you at the airport.”

“Aunt Addie it wouldn’t be a surprise if you knew we was coming,” Taylor, Julie’s youngest, pointed out.

“…If she knew we were coming.” Julie corrected gently.

Addison smiled at Taylor. “You’re right Tay, I suppose it wouldn’t. But I am so glad to see you,” she finished, picking up the four-year old and spinning her around, causing her niece to squeal in delight. When she stopped spinning she settled the girl down on her hip and turned to the rest of the family with a grin, “Well, I know this great restaurant that we could go to. They have great food, terrific atmosphere, and it’s kid-friendly, so…What?”

The four Shepherd sisters were grinning and slightly shaking their heads at her. All four had the all too familiar mischievous glint in their eyes.

“What? What’s going on?” Addison asked suspiciously.

Nancy smirked and glanced at her sisters before replying, “We’re here to kidnap you.”

“Where are we going?” Addison inquired, trying to glance around the scarf that had been tied over her eyes.

“Well, if we tell you then that’s not much of a surprise now is it?” Savvy’s voice floated to her.

“With the term kidnap being thrown around, I have to wonder. Although I suppose I should be happy that you didn’t stick me in the trunk,” Addie cracked.

“Hey don’t give us any ideas, it IS rather cramped in here,” Sam pointed out. The four sisters, Addie, and Sav were packed into Nancy’s 1988 Ford Tempo, speeding along to their unknown destination.

“Oh, we couldn’t do that. Derek would have our heads if he ever found out,” Kathleen pointed out.

“Yea, we’d have to sleep with one eye open for the rest of our lives,” Julie added.

“You guys-” Addie began.

“If she shows up with one hair out of place, we’d all have to go into the witness protection program,” Nancy spoke up from the driver’s seat.

“You guys, shut up!” Addison exclaimed, feeling her cheeks grow hot.

“What? Oh, please Addie, you’ve got that boy so whipped, animals look at him in pity. I’ve never seen my brother like this over anyone…EVER. You must have honey between your thighs,” Nancy smirked

“Oh my gosh,” Addie said burying her face in her hands, which was now as red as a tomato.

“Look at her, she’s blushing!” Kathleen exclaimed.

“Am not.”

“Oh, you so are. You’re as red as a cherry.”

“Shut up!” She reached out to smack the person she thought was talking.

“Ow! What was that for? I didn’t say anything.” Sav replied, rubbing her arm.

“Sorry,” Addison mumbled.

“I was thinking it, but I didn’t say anything,” Sav smirked. Addison’s hand flew out again, once more missing her target.

“Hey, you know Adds you have really bad aim, especially with us all being so close together.”

“Fine, I’ll try another approach.” Addison just started hitting any one she could reach, starting an all out war in the backseat.

“Hey,” Nancy yelled as she was hit in the back of the head. “You guys stop that or I will turn this car around right now.” Everyone was stunned for a minute, before they burst into laughter.

“Jeez, sorry Mom.”

Addison was jolted back to the present as she found herself being pushed out her front door. “Wow,” she said as she took in the gleaming black stretch limousine before her.

Nancy smirked next to her, as she pulled out a black blindfold, “Upgrades.”

*************************************************

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 23:56:32 GMT

Title: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
Pairing: umm, there are a few, but Addison-centric
Rating: Harmless

Okay, so I’ve been listening to a Motown Christmas, and this lovely fic popped into my head. See if you can guess the pairings. I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Grey’s Anatomy or the song ::sigh:: unfortunately.

*************************************************

“Mommy, look at all the lights!!” four-year-old Emile exclaimed.

“I see them sweetie,” Addison smiled, turning around to look at her daughter in the backseat. “Aren’t they pretty?”

“Uh-huh. But ours are pwettier, cuz Daddy did ‘em.”

“I suppose they are pretty nice,” Addison smirked, glancing at her husband in the driver’s seat.

“Well, thank you ladies, you are too kind.”

“Yea, yea, don’t let it go to your head. It’s big enough already,” she said, turning back around to face front.

“Hey, be nice now. Or Santa won’t bring you anything for Christmas,” he smirked.

“Will Santa really leave Mommy coal, Daddy?” Emile asked, her blue eyes wide.

“If she’s been naughty he will,” was his reply.

Emile then fixed Addison with a stare, “Mommy, have you been naughty or nice?” she asked very seriously.

Addison bit back her grin. “I’ve been very nice,” she assured her daughter.

“Hmm, beg to differ,” her husband coughed.

“Keep this up and begging is all you’re going to do,” was the quick comeback.

He wisely bit back his retort. They drove on in silence, the only sound coming from the portable DVD player on which Emile was watching Disney’s A Christmas Carol. A few minutes passed before Addison heard the phrase she had been waiting for.

“Are we there yet?” Emile sighed.

“Just a few more minutes, sweetie,” her husband chuckled.

“Is Charlie gonna be there?”

“She should be; I think that we’re going to be the last ones to arrive,” Addison replied. For the last six years this had become a tradition; the Wilders, the Bennetts, the Burkes, the Sloans, the Bailey-Joneses, the Shepherds, and the Rosenburgs, had all gotten together to celebrate the holidays. The men, excluding Sam, traded off Santa duties so the kids wouldn’t get too suspicious. Sam for his part sat back and laughed at the others, claiming that his time as Santa had passed now that Maya was older.

This year they had chosen Aspen, hoping to get in a little skiing in between the snowball fights. It was a competition that dated back to their med school days, and it seemed that they would never grow out of it. Pete had been sucked in by proxy. Being that the majority of the players were surgeons there was a fierce competitiveness inherent in the games. Addison’s team had won the last four games; they only lost the one five years ago because she was pregnant and her overprotective husband talked her into sitting out. She looked down at her five-month pregnant belly and smirked. There seemed to be another loss in their future.

“Alright, we’re here!” her husband exclaimed. Addison shook her head and looked around, surprised to find that they actually had arrived.

“Yay!” Emile bounced against the restraints of her booster seat. “Look, Mommy, there’s Charlie and Sadie and Sam!”

“I see them, it looks like they’re building a snowman.”

“Can I go help ‘em, Mommy?”

“We just got here, don’t you want to go inside first?” her daddy asked.

“No I wanna go play. Pweeeeeeease?”

“Okay, but zip up your coat and put your gloves on.” Addison instructed.

Emile flashed her heart-melting smile which was identical to her father’s, and eagerly bound from the car when he opened her door, running across the lawn to where the other girls were playing. Addison’s door had just been opened when she heard a familiar voice calling across the lawn:

“Uh, Samantha Jones! If you don’t get those gloves back on, little girl…”

Addison smiled as she walked up the steps to where Bailey was standing. “Merry Christmas, Miranda,” she greeted, leaning in for a hug.

“About time you three got here, we were wondering where you were,” she fussed as she ushered them inside.

“Well, we’re here now so the party may begin!” her husband said, flashing his trademark grin.

Bailey gave him a look and rolled her eyes. “Look, you just work on getting those bags up to your rooms.” she instructed.

“Yes, ma’am,” he dutifully responded, heading up the stairs.

“Addie! You made it!”

Addison turned around just in time to be engulfed in a huge hug from Callie. “Hey, Cals! So where’s my handsome godson?” As soon as the words left her mouth, she felt a tugging on the end of her skirt. She looked down and scooped up the fourteen-month-old. “Hey, Brian,” she cooed as she tickled his tummy.

“Adds!!” Addison turned.

“Sav!!” She shifted Brian to her hip as she hugged Savvy with her other arm. “I just saw Charlie outside, she’s gotten so big. It’s amazing how much she looks like you.”

“Tell me about it. Oh, it’s so good to see you.”

“You too, sweetie.”

“Hey, what about me?” her husband said coming down the stairs from his third trip up with luggage.

“Oh, we only tolerate you because of Addison.” Callie deadpanned, as the other ladies hid smirks.

“Okay, that’s just wrong.”

“Oh, it’s okay baby, I love you.” Addison said walking over to him and putting her arm around his waist.

“Mmm, you better,” he said pulling her into a kiss.

“Oh, jeez here we go.”

“Yeah, break it up, you two.”

“Seriously, I mean she’s already pregnant, haven’t you done enough.”

He groaned as they pulled apart, “Okay, where are the Y chromosomes around here, ‘cause I’m drowning in a sea of double X.

“Hey, man you guys finally made it,” came a voice from down the hall.

They turned to see Sam walking toward them. “Yeah, finally. Hey, where is everyone?”

“Oh, we’re all in the back, the game’s about to start. Hey, help me grab some beers, would you?”

“Sure.”

“Yes, you guys get your drinks and go back to the study. We have work to do.” Bailey instructed.

“Like making cookies?” Charlie asked as the four girls came in from outside.

“Wipe your feet. Yes, like making cookies. Now go wash your hands and we’ll get started.”

“Yay,” the girls yelled, running down the hall.

“Where’s Tuck,” James asked, coming into the kitchen.

“J, did you say hello to your Aunt Addie?” Callie asked.

“Sorry. Hi, Aunt Addie,” he said, giving her a hug. “Where’s Tuck?” he repeated.

“He’s in the back with the rest of the men,” Bailey replied. James turned to leave the room.

“J, don’t you want to help us make the Christmas cookies?” Addie asked the six-year-old.

“Nah, that’s women’s work,” he said before running off.

Addison turned to Callie with a raised eyebrow, “Women’s work?”

Callie rolled her eyes to the ceiling. “He’s his father’s son. And sometimes I want to strangle them both.” She softly stroked her belly, “And lucky me, I’m having another boy.”

“Aww, but you look so cute waddling around here,” Addie joked.

“Oh, I wouldn’t talk about waddling if I were you,” Callie said with a pointed look.

“I beg your pardon! I don’t waddle, I…I gracefully sway.”

“Sweetie, the only thing missing from your walk is the ‘Quack, quack’” Naomi cracked, as the women burst into laughter.

Forty-five minutes and a very messy kitchen later, the ladies filed into the den and collapsed on the various couches and chairs. Maya, Meredith, and Cristina were already in the room mindlessly watching TV.

“Maya, you missed the cookie making,” Naomi began.

“Oh, what a shame.” Maya huffed as she left the room and ran up the stairs.

Addison looked at Naomi questioningly. “She’s mad that we made her come spend Christmas with us instead of going to Paris with her boyfriend.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. I’m gonna need some eggnog. A lot.”

The ladies laughed as they began passing around the eggnog, with hot chocolate for Addie and Callie, and flipped the television just in time to catch the beginning of Miracle on 34^th St.

*************************************************

Addison went in to the kitchen to check on the cookies. As she bent over to pull them from the oven she heard a wolf whistle from behind her. “A fine sight,” the voice added. Addison turned and looked at the three men smirking at her; Mark, Derek, and Pete all filed into the kitchen.

“Shut up,” she told her husband.

“Something smells good,” Mark noted.

“And they look great,” Derek said reaching for a sugar cookie. Addison smacked his hand with the spatula. “Oww!”

“Those are for the kids. We’re going to decorate them later.”

“Mmm, that sounds nice,” Pete said dipping his finger in the frosting.

“Yes, it will be. And stop that!” She said, popping him as well.

“Mark did it too!”

“Tattletale!!” Mark cried as Addison slapped his shoulder with her hand.

“How come Mark didn’t get hit with the spatula?” Derek asked.

“Cause she likes me better than you two,” Mark cracked.

“Whatever,” Pete said rolling his eyes.

“It’s true, look she can’t keep her hands off me,” he teased as Addison began pushing him toward the door.

“Okay, that’s it. You three: out, Out, OUT!!”

“Alright, alright, we’re goin’,” Derek said, laughing.

As they filed into the hall she could still hear them talking:

“Jeez, touchy.”

“Must be the hormones.”

“Oh, please don’t let her hear you mention the hormones.”

“What’s wrong? Scared?”

“Yes! You don’t have to go home with her…”

Addison laughed to herself and turned back to the cookies. She gasped when she felt her husband’s arms slide around her waist, gently rubbing her belly. She tilted her head as he placed kisses on her neck. “Can I help you with something?” she asked, turning in his arms.

“You do like me best right?”

“Of course,” she laughed, as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. She smirked as she felt him moving; she pulled away and smacked his hand. “But you’re still not getting any cookies.”

*************************************************

Okay, girls,” Savvy said, clapping her hands together. “Time to go wash up!” She looked down and found herself surrounded by four frosting-covered, sticky, yet very happy little girls. “And maybe when you come back down, we’ll have a really special visitor.”

“Is it Santa?” Emile asked.

“Santa’s coming?” Charlie asked.

“I can’t wait to see Santa!” Sam exclaimed.

“My mom says that Santa Claus is nothing more than a propaganda figure who promotes greed and forces millions of people to go into debt every year.” Sadie stated matter-of-factly.

All heads turned towards Cristina, who seemed very interested in her eggnog. “What?” she asked looking up at everyone. “Come on, Sadie, let’s go lay out your pajamas,” she hurried up the stairs, Sadie hot on her heels.

Savvy shook her head and herded the girls up the stairs.

“That poor child,” Naomi murmured.

“I know. Burke has to sneak her dolls to play with.” Miranda replied, beginning to clean up the frosting.

Two hours later found every one dressed in their pajamas and putting the finishing touches on the Christmas tree. The children drank hot chocolate while the adults continued to consume the eggnog. The little girls anxiously looked around waiting for the great arrival, while James tried to act as nonchalant as Tuck, but still glanced around every now and then. Brian was content to stare at the glittering ornaments, while Maya sulked in the corner. “Okay, let’s plug it in,” Burke said, rubbing his hands together. “Someone get the lights.” The room was suddenly cloaked in darkness and the girls screamed. The tree lights then flashed on and next to the tree was…Santa Claus. “Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!” he cried.

The girls jumped up and ran to him, each clamoring to be the first to sit on his lap. Charlie, Emile, and Sam took their turns with no problems. Sadie also gave her list, but sat staring at him after she was done. “Was there something else you wanted, little girl?” Santa asked.

“No,” she said shaking her head slowly. “It’s just…You remind me of someone, do I know you?”

“Of course you know me, I’m Santa Claus.”

“No…oh, I know! You remind me of Un-”

“Okay, Sadie,” Burke said, scooping her up. “Let’s give someone else a turn.”

After everyone had taken their turn, Santa stood. “Okay, it’s time for good little girls and boys to be in bed.”

“Aww, man.”

“If you don’t get in bed, you’re gonna get coal for Christmas.” Bailey warned. The kids all looked at each other wide-eyed and then raced to their bedrooms, while the adults chuckled. They waited until they were sure that everyone was fast asleep before they began putting all the presents underneath the tree. Sam and Burke were putting together several bikes, while Pete and Weiss wrestled with a foosball table. They were all laughing and joking, and perhaps a little tipsy, so the flushing of a toilet went unheard by everyone. The little girl heard all of the commotion and crouched down near the railing to look out over all the activity. A flash of red caught her eye and she saw Santa pulling her mother into a corner.

“Merry Christmas, baby,” he whispered handing her a long slender box.

Addison grinned as she accepted the box and eagerly tore into the wrapping paper. She gasped as she opened the blue box to reveal a stunning tennis bracelet. “Oh, it’s gorgeous.”

Emile gasped and clapped her hands over her mouth as she watched her mommy lean in to kiss Santa Claus. She continued to watch as they pulled apart and Santa whispered something to her mommy. Addison looked up to see the mistletoe and smirked before kissing Santa again, this time tickling him under his beard as she whispered something in his ear. Santa stepped back with a grin and grabbed Addison’s hand, gently pulling her towards the stairs. Emile quickly ran back to her room before her mommy could see her. She crawled back under the covers and squeezed her eyes shut as the door opened a crack and a sliver of light fell over her face. She could hear low murmuring before the door closed softly. When she heard the click she sat up and roughly shook Charlie awake. “Charlie…Charlie, wake up,” she said in a loud stage whisper.

“What?” Charlie whined, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand.

“I just saw my mommy kissing Santa Claus.”

“What?”

“I saw my mommy kissing Santa Claus.”

“What’s going on?” Sam called from across the room, sitting up with a yawn.

“She thinks she saw Aunt Addie kissing Santa Claus.” Charlie informed them.

“I did see it.”

“Prove it,” Sadie taunted.

“Fine, come on, I’ll show you.” Emile stated, climbing out of bed. She led the way to the railing and pointed down at the scene below her. “See, I told you.”

The three girls leaned over the railing and stared into the living room. They were quiet as they scanned the area then turned back to Emile. “See what? There’s no one down there.” Sam said, hand on her hip.

“What?” Emile cried, scurrying over to see for herself. The living room was indeed empty; all the adults were gone as well as the cups and tools that had been strewn about.

“I knew it,” Sadie said stifling a yawn.

“You just had a dream,” Charlie said walking back to the room.

“But I did see Mommy kissing Santa Claus,” Emile insisted. “And I’m gonna tell my Daddy.”

*************************************************

The next morning dawned bright and early; a bit too bright for some of the adults. The kids were extremely excited at all the gifts Santa had brought them. Tuck and James were involved in a hardcore game of foosball. Sam, Charlie, and even Sadie were playing with their brand new dolls. Burke was ecstatic that Cristina had found the last Eugene Foote CD he needed to complete his collection. Brian amused himself by playing with the discarded wrapping paper and ribbon. Maya had even forgotten that she was upset with her parents when she unwrapped her fully-loaded laptop.

Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves; everyone except Emile. Her daddy came and sat next to her, pulling her onto his lap as Addison sat on his other side. “What’s wrong, princess?” he asked, running his hands through her copper curls.

“I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus!” she blurted. Addison choked on her hot chocolate as the other adults burst out laughing.

“When was this?” he asked, biting back his smile.

“Last night, they were standing under the mistletoe.”

“Well, I’m sure Mommy was just thanking Santa for all the gifts,” he said smirking at Addison, over Emile’s head.

“That’s right, I was just thanking him,” Addison assured her daughter.

“Okay,” Emile said, going over to play with the other girls.

“Great move, Addison, corrupt the children’s image of Santa Claus,” Callie cracked.

“No, corruption would be what you two did last year. You and Mark are the reason we decided everyone should have their own suit,” Addison retorted.

“What can I say, my man looks hot in a uniform,” Callie replied, leaning over to give Mark a kiss as he flashed his trademark McSteamy grin.

“Oh, don’t you two start,” Savvy said coming in with more mugs of hot chocolate. “Who’s missing?” she asked, frowning at the two mugs left on the tray.

“Pete and Meredith haven’t come down yet,” Sam smirked from the corner.

There was a moment of silence as everyone’s eyes ticked towards the ceiling. “I’m sorry I asked,” she said as she turned back toward the kitchen. Everyone laughed and dispersed to play with their kids.

Addison felt her husband pull her onto his lap and wrap his arms around her waist. She giggled as he nuzzled her neck. “Merry Christmas, Addie.” She turned and wrapped her arm around his neck, leaning in for a soft kiss.

“Merry Christmas, Derek.”

(kiss sound) Wow! Mommy's kissing Santa Claus!
I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night
She didn’t see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peep
She thought that I was tucked up
In my bedroom, fast asleep

Then I saw Mommy tickle(tickle,tickle,Santa Claus) Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white
Oh, what a riot it would have been
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night

He saw Mommy kissing(kissing,kissing) Santa Claus
I did! I really did see Mommy kissing Santa Claus
And I'm gonna tell my Dad
(bell sound)

*************************************************

So, there ya go. My “quick” little one shot chock full of fluff!!! I think it gave me a toothache. Don’t worry, after the holidays I should be back to my sarcastic, the world sucks, bitter self. So were the pairings a surprise to anyone? Well, if you know me at all, probably not…except for one…Where the hell did THAT come from? Anyway, this is my contribution to the Addek season. Hope you enjoyed and as always please review!!!!!

The Wedding: Chapter 13 Confusion vs Decisions

Sun, 02 Dec 2007 21:50:50 GMT

Title: The Wedding Chapter 13: Confusion vs Decisions
Rating: Mature
Pairing: Addek, duh.

I should SO be studying right now.

Okay, so apparently me deciding that this was the last chapter was the signal for my muse to go on vacation and not allow me to finish. It took awhile, but I was finally able to lure her back with candy. She’s such a sucker for Twizzlers.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my dvds. If I did, there would be FHBs running around Seattle by now.

Addison sat and stared at the phone. Pick it up. Just pick it up and dial the number. Addison rested her hand on the handset for the 13^th time that night. She once again lifted it and began to dial the oh-so-familiar number. 1-206…click. She replaced the phone and picked up her martini instead. Her eyes ticked to the note lying next to her elbow. She still could not believe that it actually existed. Here she had physical proof that he was no longer the ass she had lived with for the last few years of her marriage. Her Derek was back. This note had broken her anger towards him. Her feelings were still all over the place, but she was left with one major emotion for him and it was the one she hesitated to name. If she gave voice to that emotion, it would mean that she had to face several issues that she was not ready to deal with. She once again picked up the phone and dialed the eleven digits. She listened to the first ring before slamming the phone down. Dammit, get a grip woman! You are Addison Forbes Montgomery, you can make this phone call. She once again stared at the phone. Fuck it. She downed her drink, picked up the phone, hit redial, took a deep breath and listened to it ring.

Derek Shepherd felt horrible. The empty bottle of scotch on the floor next to him probably had something to do with it. A certain red-head had a lot more to do with it. A red-head who one week from now was set to marry another man. The mere thought made him automatically reach for the bottle, and he groaned when he realized it was already empty. He dropped the bottle and leaned forward dropping his face into his hands. He scrubbed his hands over the week’s worth of beard before running a hand through his unruly hair. This had become his daily routine: he went to work everyday and drank himself into oblivion every night. Then he would get up the next morning and repeat the cycle. He did have some variation: Sometimes he would start the party at Joe’s before ending at the trailer. Other times Mark or Preston would join him, although Burke’s visits had become less frequent since he was named chief after Richard’s retirement. At one point that fact would have irritated him to no end, but now he just couldn’t find it in him to care.

He leaned back against the end of the bed and focused his blurry eyes on the roof of the trailer. This trailer had once been his sanctuary, the focal point of his anti-Addison movement. Somewhere along the line that had changed. Even though she hadn’t lived there in nearly three years, she was still imprinted on every surface, especially the bed, the tiny-but-serviceable shower stall, the dinette table, kitchen counter…He pulled himself to his feet and trudged to the bathroom to answer nature’s call. As he washed his hands, he glanced at his reflection in the mirror. It seemed his physical appearance reflected his emotional state. In addition to the beard, his normally sparkling blue eyes had lost their twinkle and were heavy with bags. His skin was pale and he had lost weight adding to the haggard look. The staff had taken to calling him McNightmare behind his back, and considering the sight before him he found it fitting.

He turned his head as he heard his phone begin to ring, but just as quickly as it started it stopped. He shrugged and walked out of the bathroom to the kitchen, where he opened the fridge and aimlessly stared at its contents. Once again his phone began to ring. He considered ignoring it, but in his drunken state found the ring more annoying. Besides, the only people who called the trailer phone were family and he knew from experience that if he didn’t answer now, they’d keep calling until he did. With a sigh, he leaned over and picked up the offending device. “Shepherd.”

Addison paused. In that one word she could feel his pain and despair.

“Hello?” he slurred.

And he’s drunk.

“Look, either speak now or I’m hanging up,” he said gruffly.

Say something, Addie! “It-It’s me.”

He paused. It can’t be…can it? “Addison?”

“Yeah.”

He slowly sank to the floor and leaned against the cabinets. “Wow, um, hi.”

“Hi.”

“Uh, how’ve you been?”

She sighed. “I’ve been better.”

She sounds so sad. “Yeah, me too.” They were silent for a few minutes. “What’s going on, Addie?” he asked gently.

She took a deep breath. “I, uh, I- I’m calling to-Well, I’m calling because-I mean I wanted to say-” she paused. “I found your note,” she blurted out.

He gripped the phone a little tighter, “You mean the imaginary note?”

“Yeah, I found it. Or actually Robin did. It, um, it had fallen underneath the bed.”

“I told you I left a note.”

“Yes, you did,” she paused, “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.”

“I’m sorry you didn’t believe me, too.”

“Well you can’t really blame me,” she said defensively. “History has proven me right on numerous occasions. There were many times when you left me without a word.” She paused to take a breath, “And who the hell leaves a note on a pillow anyway? A sane person would have put it on the dresser or taped it to the mirror, or even put it on the refrigerator! Some place where I would have been sure to see it,” she huffed.

“I put it on the pillow, because I thought it was more romantic. I neglected to take into account how wildly you sleep; I should have known you’d knock it off the bed,” he snapped back.

“Yes, you should have.” Another moment of silence. Addison sighed. “I didn’t call you to argue.”

“Why did you call me?” he probed gently.

“I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “I wanted to apologize and I…”

“You what?”

“We-we haven’t talked in over six months and I…I guess I-I missed you,” she mumbled.

Those three words seemed to breathe new life into him. “I’ve missed you, too. Addie, I’ve missed you so much,” he said in a rush. “I love you, Addison.” The line was quiet. “Addison?” Still quiet. “Addie?” he said timidly.

“I’m getting married.”

“I know.”

“In one week, I’m marrying another man.”

“Addison-”

“I can’t have declarations of love from you when I’m marrying another man!” she yelled, her eyes beginning to fill with moisture. He can’t do this to me. I can’t handle this!

She’s about to lose it. “Addie,” he tried gently.

Addison shook her head. “No, I can’t-I can’t do this. Not now! We had our chance and we blew it!!” The tears began to make their way down her porcelain cheeks. “I love Jake and we’re going to be happy together! I am finally going to be happy!!”

Tears began to spill from his eyes at the pain in her voice. “Addison,” he said quietly, “Addison, I love you.”

“NO!! STOP SAYING THAT! STOP SAYING YOU LOVE ME!!” she screamed desperately into the phone.

“But I do.”

“WELL, STOP!! Please,” she pleaded tearfully.

He closed his eyes at that and swallowed the lump in his throat. Addison never begged, not for anything. He would gladly give her anything, do anything she asked, but this was the one thing he couldn’t do. “I can’t,” he said hoarsely.

She sniffled. “I can’t deal with this. Goodbye.”

“Addison, wait!”

“What, Derek?” she asked brokenly.

“I love you Addison, always and forever.”

“I love you Derek, forever and always.” With that, she hung up.

Derek sat on his kitchen floor not moving a muscle. He sat there until the annoying blare of the phone finally pierced his daze. He yanked the phone from his ear and hung it up. After a few seconds of thought he came to a decision. He turned it back on and dialed a familiar number. “Cristina? Hi, it’s Derek. Could I talk to Burke?” Derek tapped his fingers impatiently against his thigh as he waited for Burke to come to the phone. “Preston? Hi. Look, we need to talk…”

*************************************************

Addison lay on her bed going over the last minute details for the wedding in her head. Flowers? Check. Cake? Check. Caterer? Check. Bridesmaid’s dresses? Check. Wedding Dress? Double check. Groom?

“Oh, Addison,” Jake moaned as he moved above her.

Addison rolled her eyes and swallowed her sigh. Check. They had been at this for thirty minutes and she still wasn’t feeling anything. He raised his head from where he had been sucking on her neck for the past five minutes and offered her a smile, which she returned. “I…love…you,” he panted, eyes shining.

She felt a pang in her chest, which she promptly ignored. “Mmm, me too.” He covered her mouth with his. Ugh, way too much saliva. I feel like I’m drowning. She pushed against his shoulders until he pulled back then she turned her head to the side, closing her eyes. She could feel his eyes on her so she forced a low moan. That seemed to do the trick, and he returned his head to the crook of her neck. What is wrong with me? Why am I being so critical? You know why. Shut up, that’s not the reason.

“Are you close?”

Are you seriously asking me that question? “Mmm, yeah.” You’re gonna have to fake it. I’m tired of faking it. I’ve been faking it since Derek and I- Stop, don’t go there. Fine, butl you gotta go something. Well… Addison took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She imagined another body on top of hers, one that was more lean than muscular. She pictured his hands moving down her body, caressing her breasts. She felt him kissing down her chest taking one of her nipples into his perfect mouth and sucking as only he knew how, and her back arched in response as she unconsciously moaned. She slipped a hand in between them and thought of it as his as she moved it down her taut stomach. She pictured his fingers parting the soft folds of her flesh and rubbing her, gently at first, then more insistently. She felt him moving in and out of her, increasing his pace and pressure, just like she liked it. She could practically hear him panting softly in her ear, her own breath coming in short bursts. She opened her eyes and saw twinkling blue orbs staring back at her, instead of green. She heard him whisper in her ear, “Come for me, Addie,” and she did, biting hard on her lips to keep his name from tumbling out as the shockwaves rocked her body. She pressed her head into the pillows as her body automatically arched and trembled.

As she finally began to come down from her high, she felt the body move off of her and on to the side. “Wow,” Jake breathed, “That was amazing.”

“Yeah,” she panted, giving him a slightly curious look.

“I mean, seriously, it has never been that good.”

“I know,” she said, turning on her side away from him.

He cuddled up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “I am so glad you agreed to be my wife,” he planted a wet kiss behind her ear.

She scooted a little closer to the edge of the bed. “Yeah, I need to get some sleep. I have an early surgery in the morning.”

“Okay, goodnight sweetheart. I love you.”

“Goodnight, Jake.” She waited until she felt him fall asleep, then she slipped silently out of bed and put on her robe. She padded down to the den and poured herself a glass of scotch. She then curled up on her couch and cried herself to sleep, dreaming about a sexy neurosurgeon.

*************************************************

“Addison, what ever is the matter?”

“What? Oh, um, nothing.” Addison replied, picking at her salad.

“Addison, we don’t say, ‘um’. If there is nothing wrong, then would you kindly stop frowning like that? You’re going to get early wrinkles. I never frown, which is why my skin is as smooth as it was when I was thirty.” Madeline Montgomery stated, briefly checking her reflection in her compact.

“Yeah, well I think Mark had a little to do with keeping your skin so smooth,” Addison muttered.

Madeline snapped her compact shut and glared at her daughter. “There is nothing wrong with having a little assistance Addison.” She paused and took a sip of her wine. “We don’t say ‘yeah’ either.”

“Of course not, mother.” Addison rolled her eyes and reached for a roll.

Madeline eyed her daughter carefully, “I’m not sure you should be eating carbohydrates so close to the wedding.” Addison looked her mother in the eye and pointedly ate a piece of bread. Madeline merely sighed and looked away. “You know, I’m only trying to help you, dear. This is supposed to be the happiest day of your life and I intend to see that it goes off flawlessly.”

“In case you have forgotten, I have done the whole wedding thing before. I’m familiar with how it works.”

“Yes, I know. Biggest mistake of your life,” Madeline muttered taking another sip of her wine.

“Excuse me?” That was definitely NOT the biggest mistake of my life.

“Addison, I knew that marriage was a mistake from the very beginning. It seems I was proven correct.”

“How so?”

“Tell me, are you married now?” Madeline smirked. “I rest my case.”

“The fact that a marriage ended does not make it a mistake. The method by which it ended, THAT was the biggest mistake of my life.”

“I won’t coddle you dear, that does rank fairly high on the list. You cheated on your husband, in your marital bed no less. I will be the first to admit that Mark is extremely attractive, but surely you could have controlled yourself until you reached at hotel or at the very least, his apartment. I would have thought that the years of watching me would have taught you how to properly conduct an affair.”

“Oh, yes. How is John?”

“John was getting a tad long-in-the-tooth. I am currently seeing Eric, my personal trainer. He keeps my body fit in more ways than one.” Madeline replied with a smirk.

“Mother, please.” Addison stated, covering her face with her hands.

“Back to my original point, I have always believed that you deserved so much more than Derek Shepherd. I will admit that he has made it farther than I ever thought he would. He is a superb surgeon, I will give him that, but as a man he leaves much to be desired.”

“Moth-”

“No, Addison, I saw it firsthand. I was there when he missed birthdays, Christmases, and Thanksgivings. I watched the light dim in your eyes as he hurt you repeatedly without a second thought. I observed as you played with his nieces and nephews, and knew how much you wanted children of your own. Addison, I watched you suffer for nearly two years and it broke my heart as well as your own. No one deserves to be treated like that, especially not a child of mine, and I’ll be damned if I let you sit here and contemplate going back to that man. You are a Forbes Montgomery, we learn from our mistakes, we do not repeat them.”

“But I nev-”

“Please Addison, I gave birth to you. We may not have the closest relationship, but I can still tell what you are thinking.”

Addison sat back in her chair stunned by her mother’s tirade. “It’s wasn’t all his fault,” she said quietly. “It took two people to ruin my marriage.”

“Actually, it took four.”

“Mother!” They were both quiet for a few minutes. Addison glanced at her mother and sighed. “It just…it just doesn’t feel the same.”

“What doesn’t feel the same?”

“The way I feel about Jake, it doesn’t feel like it did when I married Derek.”

“I would say that is a good thing, considering how you and Derek ended.”

“When I was with Derek and it was good, it felt incredible. I knew that he was the man I wanted to spend my life with, the man I wanted to be the father of my children. I loved him with everything I had-”

“And it wasn’t enough.” Madeline interrupted.

“No, it wasn’t.” Addison quietly agreed.

Madeline reached across the table to take her daughter’s hand. “The problem is that the kind of love you are describing is extraordinary and the most wonderful feeling in the world, but that kind of love ends. What you and Jake have is special. It is the kind of foundation that you build a long-lasting marriage upon. After all, look at your father and me.” Addison suppressed a shudder. “All your father and I have ever wanted is for you to be happy. The bottom line is this: Do you love Jake?”

Addison looked down and bit her lip before regaining eye contact with her mother. “I do, I do love Jake.” Madeline smiled and released Addison’s hand. “But I’m in love with Derek.” Madeline looked back up at her. “What am I supposed to do with that?”

Madeline calmly took a sip of her wine and looked her daughter square in the eye. “Wait for it to pass.”

*************************************************

So, the end! I hope you enjoyed my little story! Alright, so I’m obviously joking. This is not the last chapter; my muse made a liar out of me. It seems when she returned she brought with her a few ideas she thought of on her vacation and turned my last little chapter into a monster! I thought it best to break it up a bit, but we are in the home stretch. Plus, I couldn’t have my story end on chapter 13. I’m not really superstitious but still…

I don’t know about you, but I really like Madeline. I mean out of the entire story at least one person had to be for Jake right? Although I don’t know if she’s so much pro-Jake as she is anti-Derek.

I generally hate how my chapters turn out, but I really like this one. So I want reviews or I’m holding the rest hostage!!!

Chapter 12: Tears and Surprises

Tue, 06 Nov 2007 01:56:59 GMT

Title: The Wedding
Rating: PG-13 (some language)

Finally an event many have been waiting for!

So, perhaps I was a few hours off from my self-imposed deadline. But to be honest this is a lot better than I normally do! This is a jam-packed chapter so things move a little quickly. Read and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I in no way own anything related to Grey’s Anatomy.

Addison made her way through her front door and collapsed on her couch. She felt as though she had just run a marathon and emotionally she had. She briefly wondered if she’d overreacted, but she quickly dismissed the idea. She was perfectly logical in her thinking. After getting the juju, she had gone back and cried on Adele’s shoulder for an hour. The older woman had wiped away her tears and encouraged her to return home, stating that Richard would understand. Addison had reluctantly agreed. She popped in to say goodbye to Richard, but he was asleep and she didn’t want to disturb his rest. Addison then caught the first flight out of Seattle.

She was considering fixing herself a very strong martini when the phone rang. With a sigh she reached over and picked it up, “Hello?”

“Hey, gorgeous.”

Addison inhaled deeply, “Jake, how are you?”

“I’m great. My business concluded early, so I’m back in town and looking forward to taking my girl to dinner.”

“Oh, Jake that sounds lovely, but it’s been a really long day. I’m not really up for a night out tonight.”

“Oh, come on, Addie, it’ll be fun. I have reservations to your favorite restaurant. I really want to see you.”

“Well, why don’t you just come over here? We can order some take-out and rent a few movies.”

Jake hesitated. “Well, I have a surprise for you. I’ve missed you so much and I’d really like to take you out, but I guess if you really don’t want to, we could do it another time.”

Addison sighed, Jake had done nothing wrong and she was forcing him to pay for someone else’s mistake. “No, no, it…it’ll be nice to go out.”

“Great,” he uttered happily. “I’ll pick you up at 8:00.”

“Okay, I’ll see you then.”

“I love you.”

Pause. “I love you, too.” As Addison replaced the handset she pondered her last statement. Was that a lie? No, I do love him. Are you sure? Yea…I guess. Could you spend the rest of your life with him? I could. Would you be happy? I would. Should you marry him? I should. We could be happy together, have the 2.5 kids, dog, and white picket fence. We would be happy, we WILL be happy. Addison sighed. Who am I trying to convince?

*************************************************

Derek paced the hall outside of Richard’s room. He raked his hands through his thick, wavy locks, when what he really wanted to do was yank it out by the roots. He could feel everything falling apart. Three days ago he was happy, everything was falling into place and he and Addie were on their way back to each other. Now she was once again gone, although this time it was her saying that she never wanted to see him again. I need to go after her. But what about Richard, I just operated I can’t just leave him now. But Derek couldn’t help but think that the longer he waited the less his chance of getting her back. He glanced at his watch; she had been gone four hours already. She was probably getting ready for dinner. He sighed again and continued his pacing.

“Derek,” called a weak voice.

Derek turned and walked into the room. “Hey Chief, how’re you feeling?”

Richard fixed him with a look. “I feel like someone’s been poking around in my brain. But more to the point, why are you pacing in front of my room like a caged animal and where is Addison?”

Derek cleared his throat and shuffled nervously. “Well, after she saw you were ok, she had to go back to LA.”

“What did you do to her Derek?” Richard demanded.

“Why does everyone always assume that I did something?”

“Because history has proven that is usually the case. Now what did you do?”

“Nothing!” he yelled exasperated. “I have no clue what went wrong! When I left we were happy, she was giving me another chance. Next thing I know, she’s not speaking to me, she’s giving me a shoulder colder than the North Pole, and she never wants to see me again.” He sank into the chair next to the bed, defeated. “She told me goodbye, Richard. She has never said that to me before. I think that this time it’s really over. I blew it.”

Richard shifted in bed. “Okay, Shep, explain it to me. What exactly happened?”

Derek sighed, “I was talking with Meredith in your office, explaining to her that we were really over and that I was in love with Addison. She refused to accept that and kissed me. Unfortunately, Addison walked in at that moment and jumped to the wrong conclusion. I tried to explain, but she just started yelling that she should know better than to trust me and then she told me goodbye. She just…left.”

Richard just stared at him for a moment. “Derek, could you hand me that magazine?”

“Sure.” Derek stood and handed it to the chief.

“Thank you,” Richard stated before he began smacking Derek with it.

“Ow! What the hell was that for?!”

“Derek to be so intelligent, you can be rather stupid.”

“What?”

“Do you love Addison?”

“Yes!! She’s the love of my life.”

“The love of your life?”

“Yes!”

“So you let her walk away without a fight?”

Derek was silent.

“Look Derek you have a lot of making up to do. If you want her you have to put some effort into this. Do you remember how hard you had to work to get her the first time?”

“Yeah,” Derek answered, chuckling.

“Well, now you’re working from a negative balance, so it will be twice as hard. And,” Richard paused, “And you’ll have to be prepared to accept the fact that she may not want you back. You will need to let her do what makes her happy. Understand?”

Derek nodded.

“Good. Now get out of here!”

*************************************************

“Thank you,” Addison smiled at the gentleman who held the door open for her. She and Jake had just arrived at the restaurant and were quickly escorted to a table for four. Addison found it odd since they normally sat at their favorite table for two by the window, but simply shrugged it off.

As they settled themselves, Jake reached across the table to grab her hand. “I really missed you.”

Addison forced a small smile, “I missed you, too.”

“The entire time I was gone I was tortured by dreams about you.”

“Were you really?” she smirked.

“Oh, yeah. Maybe later we can do some of the things I dreamed about.”

“We’ll see,” she hedged, taking a sip of her wine.

“You know while in New York I was able to take care of some personal business as well.”

“Oh? What was that?”

“Well, there were a few people that I thought it was time to meet. In fact I invited them to join us,” he looked up. “Oh, here they come.” He stood to get their attention.

Addison sighed and took another sip of her wine. She really was not in the mood to socialize tonight. She nearly choked as she looked up and saw who the mysterious guests were, “Mom?! Dad?!”

*************************************************

Derek was pretty sure that he had broken several traffic laws trying to get to the airport. And if those traffic light cameras were functional, he’s pretty sure they’ll be a ticket waiting for him when he gets home. He just can’t shake this gnawing feeling that he needs to get to LA as soon as possible. He felt that someone up there must be looking out for him because he got the last seat on a flight leaving in ten minutes.

As soon as he landed in LA, he high-tailed it to her home only to find it pitch-black. She wasn’t home. After letting out a string of R-rated words, he sat down on her steps to think for a bit. Then he wiped out his cell and after several stalkerish phone calls found out where she was dining. On his way there he stopped at a flower shop and picked up a gorgeous bouquet of orchids. As he pulled up to the valet, he took a deep breath and stepped from the car. He could only hope that he wasn’t too late.

*************************************************

Addison was still in a state of shock staring at her parents. “Wha- What are you doing here?”

“We’re happy to see you too, darling,” Madeline Montgomery stated as she took her seat.

“Hello, princess,” Thomas Montgomery greeted with a peck on the forehead.

“I’m sorry, Mom, I’m just a tad surprised here. I wasn’t expecting you,” Addison stated gripping her napkin a bit tighter.

“Well, perhaps that is due to the fact that you haven’t called in three months.” Madeline said coldly.

“Maddie,” Thomas said warningly.

“Well, I just think that she could pick up a phone once in a while. But, it is nice to see you sweetie. Plus, I’m so glad to be here to share your special day.”

“What special day?”

“Addison,” Jake began getting her attention. “I did some thinking while I was in New York and I realized that my original proposal did not come out at all as I had planned.” He dropped to one knee and took her hand. “So, I decided to go the more traditional route. I thought that you’d like to have your family with you as I once again asked you to spend your life with me. I want to be not only your husband and lover, but your best friend as well. I want to be the person you run to whenever you have a problem. I want to be everything to you. So, Addison Forbes Montgomery, will you marry me?

*************************************************

Derek stopped in his tracks as he stared into the dining room. He could see Addie’s parents beaming as they looked on at Jake on one knee proposing to Addison. He stopped breathing in the moments it took for Addison to respond, and his heart pounded in his chest. When she finally nodded her assent, he felt his heart explode into a million pieces. As he watched another man embrace the love of his life, yet again, he felt this feeling of coldness come over him. He felt the numbness ascend from his feet and engulf his entire body. He took the card in the flowers and quickly scribbled a message, before turning and fleeing the scene. He barely made it to his car before his vision was clouded with tears.

*************************************************

Addison was embracing her parents and trying to keep smiling when she saw the maitre d approaching with a bouquet of orchids. “Jake, you shouldn’t have.”

“I didn’t.”

Confused, Addison read the card. I’ve always just wanted you to be happy. I will always love you, Derek.

Addison immediately dropped the flowers and ran from the restaurant. She searched for him but to no avail. He was gone.

*************************************************

Six Months Later

Addison heard her phone ringing as she rushed though her door. “Oh, I’m coming. Hold on I’m coming.” She dropped her bag on the table and grabbed for the cordless. “Hello?”

“Hello, sweetheart.”

“Hi, Mom! How are you?”

“I’m fine dear, how are you? You sound tired.”

“No, I’m fine. I’m just getting back from a meeting with the wedding planner. I’d forgotten how much goes into planning a wedding. I feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day.” Addison sighed as she flipped through her planner.

“Is Jake helping you as well?”

“He does what he can, but you know, he’s still a guy so…” Addison’s mind drifted as she thought of her former wedding. Derek was pretty involved and wanted to help her as much as he could. Of course, much of it was just nodding and saying, “Whatever you want, dear,” but still he was there. And when she began to feel stressed and overwhelmed he was there to calm her down or distract her. His methods of distraction were memorable in themselves. A small smile formed on her face as she remembered the really good times.

“-Addie? ADDISON! Can you hear me?”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Mom. What were you saying?”

“I was just asking if you needed anything. Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Mom, really, I’m fine.” I’m fine alright. F-I-N-E. Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional.

There was a pause on the other end of the line. Gwen knew she was lying, but didn’t want to push her. Especially considering the next topic she wanted to discuss. She had tried to bring it up in the last few months, but had been shut down every time. Gwen, however, was not a person who gave up easily. “Derek asked about you.”

Now it was Addison’s turn to pause. She found herself thinking about Derek everyday, and just the sound of his name produced an ache in her chest. Addison sank into a chair at the table with a sigh, and cradled her head in her hand. “Mom-”

“Addison, wait, before you say anything just listen for a moment. Addison, Derek is miserable without you. From what I hear he has been moping around Seattle for the last six months. He has gone from McDreamy to McDreary. Addison, he needs you. He is not himself without you.”

“Mom-”

“Let me finish. This isn’t just about Derek, it’s about you too.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you. Addison can you honestly tell me that you’re happy with Jake? When you look into the future and see yourself old and gray is it Jake that you see beside you?”

Addison was silent. Six months ago, Jake had asked her nearly the same question. She could no more answer it now, than she could then. Truth was she was afraid to look. Not because she was afraid of who she would see, because if she were to truly be honest with herself she knew it wouldn’t be the man whose ring rested on her finger. She couldn’t let herself take that look because then the foundation upon which she had built her protective walls would begin to crack, and the fortress around her heart would crumble forcing her to deal with the painful truth. No, it was much better to stay in the present, with the man who would never hurt her, who had never made her cry. Better to stay with the man who didn’t make her run the emotional gamut. Jake was the safe choice and perhaps that was what her aching heart needed. Addison swiped at the moisture that had begun to track down her face. She inhaled shakily, “Mom, I’m sorry I gotta go.”

“Addison-”

“No, really. I was supposed to meet Jake a half hour ago. I’ll call you.”

“Addison-” Gwen began again, but stopped when she sensed how close to the edge Addison was. She sighed, then continued, “I’ll see you in two weeks. I love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you too, Mom.” Addison’s vision blurred as she pressed end on the phone. She then reached into the back of her planner and pulled out the photograph she kept hidden there. It was a picture of her and Derek, taken the day they went horseback riding. The owner had sent it to her a few weeks after their trip. Addison was in the foreground, her long red locks flowing out behind her and a huge grin on her face as she laughed at Derek trying to catch her. Her fingers delicately traced over his features, and she felt her chest contract at the look of love on his face. She closed her eyes as memories of that night and many others like it came rushing back to her. She laid her head on the table as she began to openly sob.

*************************************************

Addison and Robin sat on Addison’s bed eating popcorn and drinking strawberry daiquiris using Twizzlers as straws. Sabrina (the original version, of course) was playing in the background. The ladies themselves were involved in hardcore Uno tournament.

“So, remind me what we are doing again.” Robin asked as she put down a Draw Four.

“We are celebrating my engagement.” Addison replied, placing another Draw Four on the pile.

“Well, why aren’t we out a club or at least a nice restaurant?” Robin put down the third Draw Four. “Uno,” she said with a grin.

“Because I wanted a quiet evening at home with my good friend. Besides, the crazy bachelorette party will occur in two weeks when Savvy and Derek’s sisters get into town.” Addison triumphantly placed the final Draw Four on the pile and for good measure she added a Draw two on top. “Pick ‘em up!” she taunted.

“Damn, eighteen cards!” Robin mumbled. “Shut up!” she exclaimed as Addison doubled over in laughter. She started to organize the cards in her hand. “Crap,” she stated as several cards slipped from her hand and though the crap between the headboard and the mattress. Robin slipped off the bed and reached under it to grab the dropped cards. She came back up with the cards and something else she wasn’t expecting. “What’s this?”

“What?” Addison asked.

“It looks like some kind of note.” Robin paused as she read it. “Addie, I think you should read this.”

Addison took the note from Robin’s outstretched hand. She recognized the chicken scratch handwriting immediately. Her eyes widened as she read the note. She blinked and re-read it slowly to ensure that her mind was not playing tricks on her. She looked up and met Robin’s equally wide-eyed stare.

“Well, fuck.”

*************************************************

So, she finally found the note! How lovely right? I mean everyone is in a really good place. Addison is marrying another man and they’re both miserable. The next chapter is the last. I might be persuaded into writing and epilogue if there’s interest. Oh, and the UNO game is based on true story. My family is made of extremely competitive UNO players. Seriously, most non-family members won’t play with us because they can’t take the heat! Well, hope you enjoyed! As always, review por favor!

The Wedding Chapter 11: Hello, Goodbye

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 01:13:36 GMT

Title: The Wedding

Rating: PG-13 (language)

Pairing: Addek, of course!

Addison's back in Seattle. Want more? Follow the link! ;-)

Okay, here’s an update! Shorter than my normal length, but I wanted to get it out. Well, that and the fact that I’m not in the mood to study, despite the fact that my test is Friday. To anyone who is still reading this, I give my deepest thanks!!!

Disclaimer: I still don’t own anything related to GA but my DVDs and soundtracks.

“Good air in, bad air out.” Addison mumbled her mantra as she sat in the back of the cab, watching the familiar Seattle landscape pass by. She fiddled with the strap of her purse in her lap, a sure sign that she was nervous. Why am I nervous? I have nothing to be nervous about. I mean, sure I made love to--no, slept with --no, fucked my ex-husband last night, who then left without a word, and now I’m once again showing up on his home turf, but there’s absolutely no reason to be nervous. She sighed and leaned her forehead against the cool window glass. This should be fun. She could only hope that she would not be greeted with the same sight as her first visit to Seattle. Addison was only now beginning to sober up, and she did not wish to make a spectacle of herself by causing a scene or losing her lunch.

“Miss? We’re here, miss.”

Addison started and looked at the cab driver. They had arrived much faster than she had expected. She wasn’t prepared to go in yet. “Oh…ok.” She fumbled with her bag and handed the driver some cash. Next thing she knew she was standing in front of the entrance, taking in the building that had been the stage of the final act of her marriage. She gripped her Coach tote so tightly that her knuckles were snow white. “Good air in, bad air out.” She took a big breath and walked through the doors.

Thankfully the lobby was clear. Addison walked towards the elevators and stepped inside. As the doors closed, she was bombarded by past images of silent moments that screamed with tension. With a rush she remembered feelings of guilt, inadequacy, jealousy, anger, sadness, and most of all longing. Addison was thankful when the doors finally opened on the on the surgical floor, allowing the fresh air in and easing the tightness in her chest, albeit slightly. She moved toward the nurses’ station to inquire about Richard’s room when she spotted an elegantly dressed woman just ahead of her. She followed the woman and leaned in against the doorjamb. “I thought I saw a fabulous looking woman walk by,” she quipped.

Adele looked up with tear-filled eyes, “Oh, Addison.”

Addison immediately rushed into the room and enveloped Adele in a hug. “Hey, tell me what happened.”

“I don’t know. We were sitting here talking, waiting for Derek to come back with the MRI results and tell us his plan, when Richard just started seizing. Then his body went rigid, and then…nothing. He just…he just went slack, his entire body relaxed and he…he wouldn’t open his eyes…Addie, I can’t lose him; I can’t…Not now, not now…” With that she dissolved into tears.

Addison, for her part, tried to hold back her own tears. She knew the situation didn’t look good, but as long as he was alive there was still hope. “I know it’s hard, but he has the entire hospital looking out for him and the best neurosurgeon in the country performing the operation. He is in the best of hands. Plus Richard is strong, he’s a fighter. He didn’t let a little tumor stop him before, and it won’t stop him now.” Adele nodded, and Addison continued to rub her back as she cried.

*************************************************

Six hours later the two women sat much in the same position as before. Addison had ordered food, but neither woman had an appetite. Aside from the occasional updates from Bailey (and the last one was two hours ago), they had no idea how the surgery was progressing. Adele stood and resumed her pacing of the room. “It’s been too long. What is taking them so long? That’s a bad sign isn’t it?”

Addison shook her head. “It’s not a bad sign. I’m sure Derek is just being careful, he wants to ensure he has clean margins.”

“Well why haven’t we heard anything? Oh, if anything happens, I can’t take it.” She sat heavily back down on the couch.

“Adele-” Addison was cut off at the sound of the door opening. Both women turned and watched anxiously as three tired surgeons filed in. Addison examined Derek’s body language to determine the outcome of the surgery. She breathed a small sigh of relief when she found exhaustion and fatigue, but not defeat, as he came to sit on the other side of Adele. Her eyes then ticked to Meredith, who stood rather close behind Derek, she noted with a sharp pang of jealousy. Is she the reason he left without a word? She shook the thought from her head. No, I’m here for Adele. She reached over and grabbed Adele’s hand as Derek relayed the events of the surgery.

As Derek went over the general details of what happened in surgery, he found that his gaze kept shifting to Addison. He was so glad that she was here, not only for Adele’s sake but for his own. Just her mere presence gave him a sense of peace. He noticed her holding Adele’s hand, offering her silent support. He tried to catch her eye, but each time it seemed she was focused on Adele, Bailey, or anything in the room but him. What’s going on? Why won’t she look at me? Wait, I think Adele was saying something.

“-okay. Can I see him?”

“Of course,” he looked down as his Blackberry went off. “Perfect timing, he’s just waking up from the anesthesia.” I need to talk to Addie. “Dr. Bailey, would you…?”

“Of course,” she said, as she ushered Adele from the room.

“Addison,” he called as she moved to follow them. She glanced at him and he was taken aback at what he saw in her eyes.

“I’m going to see Richard,” she said curtly as she exited the room.

Derek stood rooted to the spot, analyzing what he had seen in that glimpse. In that second he had seen pain, anger, sadness, and betrayal. What the hell happened after I left?

In his efforts to deduce the cause of Addison’s mood, he had completely forgotten that he wasn’t alone in the room, until Meredith’s hand on his shoulder caused him to jump a mile in the air. “Derek, we need to talk.”

Derek’s brow furrowed as he turned to face her. “I don’t see what we have to discuss. I believe that everything has been said.”

“Not everything.” She stepped closer to him and looked up at him through her lashes. “I miss you,” she said breathily.

“Meredith,” he sighed.

“Wait, just listen.” She walked over and closed the door. “We’ve both made mistakes, a lot of mistakes in our relationship. And you were right, I didn’t let you in. I’m sorry. I should have turned to you when I needed a shoulder, when I needed help it should have been you I asked. But, I’m ready to change. I’m an open book to you now. I miss you. Derek, I love you.”

“Meredith, I told you before, we’re not meant to be together. I’m in love with Addison, and we’re back together. Besides, didn’t you just tell me that you moved on? With the guy you took to Aruba?”

“There was no guy in Aruba. I went with Izzie; I was just trying to make you jealous. And Addison didn’t even look at you the entire time she was in the room, how can you be in a relationship?”

“Meredith, I’m not going to argue this with you. We didn’t work out. I’m sorry, but we just don’t work.”

“Can you honestly say,” she stepped closer to him, “that you feel nothing for me?”

He stepped back cautiously, “I care about you. But in a strictly platonic fashion.”

“Well how about this?” With that she pulled him to her in a deep kiss.

*************************************************

Addison knocked softly on the door before she entered. She could see Adele sitting by Richard’s bed, holding his hand like she would never let it go. They endured so much and yet they are still together. They were one of the few that were able to make it through. She had once thought that she and Derek would be the same way. She sighed and pushed the thought aside as Richard spotted her at the door. “Hey,” she said, stepping inside.

“Addie,” he smiled weakly.

“You know, if you wanted to see me, you didn’t have to go through all this trouble. A phone call would have sufficed.” She leaned over to give him a kiss on his forehead.

He chuckled. “It’s good to see you, Addie. How have you been?”

“I’m fine. The one we’re worried about here is you.”

He stared at her, hard. “Addie-”

“Richard, really it’s alright. You just gave me such I fright; I’ve been worried about you.”

He nodded and decided to let the matter drop. He opened his mouth to change the subject, but ended up emitting a yawn instead.

“Oh,” Addison patted his hand. “I’m going to go, you need your rest. I just had to see for myself that you were okay.”

“Thank you, Addison,” he said as he drifted off.

Addison looked over at Adele, who still had her eyes trained on Richard. “How about some juju?

“That sounds lovely Addison, thank you.”

Addison stood and looked for her purse. I must have left it in Richard’s office. “I’ll be right back.” She left the room and walked swiftly toward Richard’s office. She pushed open the door without knocking and felt her heart stop at the sight before her. There were Derek and Meredith locked in a passionate embrace. She felt the bile rise in her throat even as she caught Derek’s eye and saw him rip away from Meredith.

“Addison-” he began, starting for her.

She saw her purse resting on the couch and quickly snatched it up muttering, “Please, don’t let me interrupt.” She then turned on her heel and fled the room.

“Addison!!” Derek called chasing after her. “Addison, wait. Addie, please,” he grabbed onto her arm. “Please, let me explain. It’s not what it looks like.”

She shrugged off his arm. “Please, don’t insult my intelligence. I’m pretty sure I know exactly what that was. It didn’t take you very long to go running back to her did it? I bet you couldn’t wait to get out of my bed and back into hers!”

“No, Addison, no listen please. She kissed me. I didn’t ask for it nor did I want it. I was pushing her away when you walked in! I swear I want you. I love you!” he insisted.

“Please, Derek, don’t hand me that load of bull. You used me alright; just admit it so we can both get on with our lives!”

“What?!! I never used you!!”

“Oh, please Derek. You come to LA, you sprout all your McDreamy bullshit to prove to yourself that you still have me eating out of the palm of your hand, and then you sneak out in the middle of the fuckin’ night!!! What the hell do you call it if not using me?!” she screamed.

“I didn’t sneak out, I left a note.”

“Derek, do I have idiot stamped across my forehead?” she asked sarcastically.

“No, I left a note. Burke called me and told me about Richard. I tried to wake you, but you protested so I just left a note on the pillow.”

“Was this an imaginary note, because I did a thorough search of the house and did not locate such a note. And when I made the bed this morning there was nothing on the pillows, so what happened Derek? What did you find so repulsive that you couldn’t wait till morning to get away from me?” she asked, tears forming in her eyes, but she was too proud to cry.

“I did not want to leave you and had Richard not been so critical, I wouldn’t have, but I left a note!” he yelled.

“You sound like a broken record, Derek, and I don’t believe you. I told you that I couldn’t do this again. I told you I couldn’t get hurt again. But, you begged me for another chance, and I gave it to you, only to end up looking like a fool, AGAIN! But, I can’t blame you for that. I should know by now that I can’t trust you. However, I should thank you. I think I finally have what I need to get over you.”

“Addison,” Derek said nervously, he could feel his heart pounding in his chest. “Addison, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that you have Seattle and I have LA. I’m saying don’t show up at my house or at the hospital. I’m saying don’t call, don’t email, don’t write. I’m saying I never want to see you again. I’m saying,” she paused and swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’m saying goodbye, Derek.” With one final look into his eyes, she turned and left.

*************************************************

So, there you go! Don’t kill me, I’m not done yet! The next update should be up this weekend, after my test. As always, please review!!! They make me want to procrastinate! J

The Wedding Chapter 10: The Morning After

Mon, 01 Oct 2007 02:58:33 GMT

Title: The Wedding
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Addek

Alrighty, so here's the update. It's amazing how one night can change a situation.

Okay, so I’m really bad at updating, but it was less than a month this time!! Truth is I was a few chapters ahead, then decided I didn’t like where it was going so I trashed it, and did something new. I’m on an easier rotation so I should be able to update more regularly. I changed the format a bit by adding a song, so if you have “I Wish I Wasn't” by Heather Headley, I highly recommend playing it. If not, check it out on youtube.

Disclaimer: As usual, I own nothing. I’m simply a poor student.

“Derek Matthew Shepherd!! Get down here this instant!” Addison yelled up the stairs.

“What? I’m right here.” Derek came up behind her.

“Oh, sorry not you. I was calling D.J.”

“What happened?”

“You’ll see,” she took a deep breath to give another yell, when her son appeared at the top of the stairs. At five years old he was already a heartbreaker. He had her fire-red hair, but everything else was pure Derek, from his eyes to his smile.

“Yes, Mommy?” he said innocently.

She crooked her finger at him. “Could you come down here for a second, please?” He walked slowly down the stairs and stood next to Addison looking up at her expectantly. Addison extended her hand to him, “I’d like to show you something.” They walked around the corner to the dining room and stood in front of a wall, which while white that morning had mysteriously sprouted colors. They stood before the wall silently. “So, what do you think?” D.J. shrugged. “Any ideas how it got there?” He shook his head. “Well, that’s very interesting, because those handprints look very familiar.” He looked down at his feet, suddenly finding his shoes quite fascinating. “And they look too small to be mine or Daddy’s.”

“Do you have anything to say?” Derek asked.

D.J. looked up at both of his parents and gave a long sigh. “It was me.”

“Why did you do this?” Derek inquired.

D.J. shrugged again. “I ran out of paper,” he said, as if it were the most obvious explanation in the world.

“When you run out of paper, you don’t use the walls, you wait until we get you some more paper. Do you understand?” Addison asked.

“Yes, Mommy. I’m sorry” he said, giving his best puppy-dog face, which looked exactly like Derek’s.

He looked so cute when he said it that Addison had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling. “Well, since you like painting so much, you can help me repaint it,” Derek stated.

“Okay, Daddy.”

“Alright, upstairs.”

D.J. gave a long-suffering sigh, and turned to go back to his room.

Once he was out of earshot Addison let out the laugh she had been holding in. “Oh, what are we going to do with him,” she said, shaking her head. “I can only hope that this one won’t be such a handful,” she rubbed her five-month pregnant belly.

“If she’s anything like you, she’ll be worse,” Derek cracked, earning himself a slap to the chest.

“Watch it, buddy,” she smirked, walking away.

Derek came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her growing waist. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too.”

Addison smiled in her sleep, completely lost in her dream, and snuggled further into the blankets. She shifted backwards to slip nearer to Derek’s warmth. She scooted back a little a farther, then a little more, little more, and…BAM!!! She fell to the floor in a heap of sprawled limbs and bed linens. Her hands immediately went to her abdomen, but all she found was her flat stomach. She sighed and sat up, still slightly disoriented. She looked over at her suspiciously empty bed. Where…? A quick look around the room confirmed that she was alone. Maybe he’s in the shower. She stood and wrapped the sheet around herself as she went into the bathroom. Empty. She felt her pulse start to quicken. She stepped out of her bedroom and onto the landing, straining to hear some sort of noise in the house. “Derek?” Silence. No, no, this is not happening. Addison performed a thorough search of the house, ending in her bedroom. All of his stuff was gone; there was no trace of him in the house. There was also no note, voicemail, text, or message of any kind. If it wasn’t for his scent on the sheets and the tingling between her thighs she would question whether he had ever been there at all.

Addison stood in the doorway of her room staring at the bed, images of the night before flashing through her head. Everything had been perfect; she thought she might finally get her happily ever after. She could feel the tell-tale burning at the back of her eyes as she moved toward the bed. The memories were so fresh she could still feel his hands, his lips, hear him whispering in her ear.

I’ll never leave you.

The tears began to fall freely.

I’ll never hurt you again.

She snatched all the blankets and sheets from the bed flinging them around the room, screaming out her frustration.

I love you.

She crumpled next to the bed as the tears starting coming faster. She curled into a ball and wrapped the sheet around herself, inhaling his cologne, and cried her heart out.

*************************************************

Derek walked through the halls of Seattle Grace with a smile on his face and a spring in his step. Things were finally beginning to right themselves. Addison had given him another chance and they were back together as they should be. I’m not going to mess this up this time. Now that I have her back, I’m never going to let her go, especially not after the mind-blowing sex from last night. His smile widened as memories from last night flooded him. He could still practically feel her hands and hear her moaning softly in his ear.

“Where the hell have you been and why are you grinning like the Cheshire cat?”

He turned to see The Nazi giving him one of her patented glares, standing with a hand on her hip. “Did you miss me Dr. Bailey?”

“Actually, it’s amazing what we get done around here without you and all your foolishness.”

Derek chuckled as he accepted the chart she handed him, but quickly sobered as he read through the notes. This would definitely be a challenge. “How’s he doing?”

“He’s trying to hold it together. Adele’s in there with him. She hasn’t left his side since he was admitted. I don’t even know if she’s eaten.”

Derek nodded and sighed. “Who’s the resident,” he asked while flipped through the chart. He came to the resident’s note and stopped when he read the name. He looked back up at Bailey.

She shrugged. “He asked for her.”

There on the resident’s note was the name Meredith Grey.

*************************************************

Addison took deep breaths to calm herself as her tears finally started to slow. She reached up and grabbed the phone off of her nightstand and dialed a number.

“Hello.”

“Ro.”

“Hey, Addie. What’s up?”

“I slept with Derek.”

A beat. “Yeah, right. Nice try, Addie, but you already got me with that one, remember?”

“Ro,” Addison repeated, her voice cracking.

Robin’s tone changed instantly. “I’m on my way.”

Fifteen minutes later, Robin pulled up in front of her house equipped with a box of Krispy Kremes and two venti hot chocolates with extra whipped cream.

A disheveled Addison opened the door.

“You look like shit.” Addison pulled her robe tighter around her. “I come bearing juju. Now let’s go sit down and you can tell me what happened. In excruciating detail.”

Addison accepted the cocoa and led the way to the den, where she promptly plopped down on the couch. Robin sat in the overstuffed chair opposite her. “Alright, spill.”

Addison took a deep breath and relayed the events of the past few days, all the while staring at anything other than her friend. Robin quietly listened, nodding in the appropriate places.

“So, Gwen left and you two just jumped each other?”

“No, we…we talked and he said all the right things and asked me to give him another chance, and I agreed. Then we kissed and he proceeded to give me mind-altering orgasms.”

“Orgasms? As in plural?”

“Yes.”

“Wow. So, then what?”

“I fell asleep in his arms.”

“And?”

“And I woke up alone on my bedroom floor.”

“And?”

“And…that’s it.”

“Okay, but he at least left a note or something, right?” Addison just stared at her. “Not even a post-it?”

“You watch too much Sex and the City,” Addison smirked.

“Well it at least got you to crack a smile. So, what’s the game plan? Want me to put a hit out on him? I know people, I can make it happen.”

“Tempting, but no.” Addison sighed. “I just…I feel like an idiot. All he does is hurt me, but I let him in every time. I know his track record, I know what he does, how he operates, but I keep doing the same thing thinking that it’ll have a different outcome.”

“Isn’t that the definition of delusional?”

“Thanks, Ro.”

“Or is it psychosis?” she said thoughtfully.

“Robin seriously, you’re great at this pep talk thing.” Addison stated, sarcastic as hell.

“Oh, sorry Addie,” she said sheepishly.

Addison sighed and put her head in her hands. “I hate him.”

*************************************************

Derek was currently examining Richard, who was certainly not at his best. Derek was doing his best to keep his emotions in check, but seeing his mentor in such a weakened state was hard to accept. Just a few days ago, he was at his near-wedding laughing and joking and now he was barely able to lift his head from his bed. Derek looked up and locked eyes with Adele. She nodded in understanding. Derek looked back down at the bed, “Chief,” he began.

“I already know what you’re going to say, Shep,” he said, sighing heavily.

“Why didn’t you come to me sooner?”

“I don’t know. I guess I thought I could work through it.”

Derek studied the older man carefully, “How long have you been having symptoms?”

The chief avoided eye contact, “Not that long.”

“Richard.”

“Fine, six months.”

“SIX MONT-” Adele interrupted, but stopped when Derek held up his hand. He rubbed his hand across his face and through his hair. “Okay, this is the plan. I’m going to order a repeat MRI and see where we are now. Once we know the status, I will give you free reign, Adele.” He patted Richard’s hand, as his pager went off. “Hang in there, I’ll be back soon.”

Derek walked from the room checking his pager, and ran straight into another body, knocking them to the ground. He looked up to see Meredith sprawled on the floor before him. He reached down to help her up, “Sorry, Mer. I didn’t see you. Are you ok?”

“Yeah, fine,” she said brushing herself off. They stood in awkward silence for a moment. It was the first time they’d seen each other since he broke it off, neither was really sure how to act. “Um, how are you?”

“I’m good. You, uh, you look like you got some sun.” Actually she looked more like a boiled lobster.

“Yeah, I decided to go to Aruba anyway, and I kind of fell asleep in the sun.”

“Oh.” Another uncomfortable silence. “Well, I need to answer this page so…” he turned to leave.

“I didn’t go alone, you know.”

Derek stopped and dropped his head, “Oh?” he said turning back around.

“Yea,” she smirked, placing a hand on her hip. “I had good company, the kind that makes my back arch and my toes curl,” she said stepping closer to him.

“Well,” he said side-stepping her with a smile, “It’s good to know that you’ve moved on too. That’ll make us working together a lot easier. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I really have to answer this page.” With that he walked off down the hall.

Meredith stood watching his retreating figure. “Shit,” she muttered, before turning on her heel and storming away.

*************************************************

Addison and Robin sat in silence, having already finished their juju. “You know, by now I should be used to putting myself back together after Derek breaks me. But now, I don’t even have my manwhore to fall back on.”

“Mmm, how is Mark? Ooh, he was always up for a good time.” Robin asked, reclining on the couch.

“Oh, eww. He’s good. He and Callie are expecting their second.”

“Damn, when did he get married?”

“Two years ago. How ironic is it that my dirty mistress is married with kids and I’m alone?” She stood and walked over to the bar, “I need a drink,” she said pouring herself a scotch. She felt the liquid burn down her throat, and the tears run down her face.

“Oh, Addie,” Robin said, getting up to pull her friend into a hug. “Maybe-maybe there’s a mistake. Or something could have happened. There could have been an accident. Hey, he could be lying unconscious in a ditch somewhere.”

Addison laughed through her tears, “Rarely have I heard that used as a positive.” She wiped away her tears. “Argh, I hate him for making me feel like this! Hate him! Hate. HATE!!” She slammed her fist against the bar.

Robin poured herself a martini, “I’ll drink to that.”

*************************************************

Derek stood and stretched. He had been going non-stop since he arrived at the hospital. He hadn’t even had a chance to call Addie yet. As he pulled out his phone, it struck him as odd that she hadn’t called him. He knew she had the day off, because they were planning to spend it in bed together. It’s really not like her to not call. She would have at least got in touch with Adele since she knows that Richard is sick. Actually, being who she is, Addison would have been here by now. Derek began to get a gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach. Something’s wrong. He started to have chest pain. Oh, something’s wrong. He quickly flipped open the phone to dial Addison’s number. Right as he hit send, Meredith came rushing into the room. “Derek, you have to come now. The chief started seizing and he’s blown his left pupil. He’s now unresponsive!”

Derek slapped the phone closed and ran from the room, “Get an OR, now! I don’t care who you have to bump, get one now!” He pulled up short as he spotted the Nazi, “Dr. Bailey, I need you to do me a favor.”

*************************************************

Addison sat in a drunken stupor, looking back and forth between the Tiffany’s box and her wedding album. Robin had long since passed out from the alcohol. So Addison was left alone with her rebellious thoughts and her cds. But out of her diverse collection she had had the same song on repeat for the past two hours.

I'm home alone again
And you’re out hangin' with your friends
So you say
Somehow I know it's not quite that way
It's getting pretty late
And you haven't checked on me all day
When I called, you didn't answer
Now I’m feelin' like your ignorin' me
I wish that you were home
holdin' me tight in your arms and I wish
I could go back
To the day before we met
And skip my regret

She had been staring at the phone all day, willing it to ring. The longer it stayed silent the more upset she became.

(CHORUS)
I wish I wasn't
In love with you
So you couldn't hurt me
It just ain't fair
The way you treat me
No you don't deserve me
Wasted my time
Thinkin' bout you
And you ain't never gon change
I wish I wasn't
In love with you
So I wouldn't feel this way

My life would be so much easier if I could just let him go. I never have this kind of pain with Jake. I didn’t even have this with Mark. I had extreme guilt, yes, but not this.

When you touch me my heart melts
Anything you did wrong I forgave, yeah
So you play me
And take advantage
Of the love
That I feel for you
Why you wanna hurt me so bad
I believed in you
That's why I'm so mad
Now I'm drownin' in disappointment
And its hard for me to even look at you
I wish that you were home(oh yes I do)
holdin' me tight in your arms(ooh baby)
and I wish I could go back
To the day before we met
And skip my regret

She leaned her head back against the leather, and continued to nurse her drink. It’s funny how a song can match your situation perfectly. Why is it that with everything he’s done to me my body still craves him? Why do I want him to walk through that door?

Simple.

Because you love him.

She drained the glass.

You said you cared about me
But from what I see
I ain't feelin' that
So I disagree
Gave you all my love
And understanding
And you treated me
Like your enemy
So leave me alone
don’t want nothin from ya
Just go back where you came from
This house is no longer your home
You're not welcome no no no more
No (oo oo oo) more

Her cell began to ring and Addison stared at the device blankly. Seattle Grace flashed across the called id. She slowly reached over and flipped it open. “Hello?”

“Addison?”

::sigh:: “Hey, Miranda. What’s up?”

“I, uh, Addison you need to get to Seattle as soon as possible.”

Bailey is hesitating, why-why is she hesitating? “What?! What’s wrong?” Please, don’t let it be Derek; please don’t let it be Derek.

“It’s the Chief, he, um…You-you should get here soon.”

“I’ll be on the next flight.”

*************************************************

So, there we are. As usual, please review!!!